Aftercare thoughts

Aftercare. I didn't know the word right off but I knew that after being hit with something I wanted to cuddle. The funny thing about aftercare is how it's defined and even needed differently by different people. 

I know my desire for snuggling was at first difficult  for Das because his other partner was more of a hop right up after a scene and go smoke, no cuddles required. Since he also smokes that seems to me to have been how their aftercare worked. Going to share time relaxing over cigarettes. It actually took a good while for Das to not just leave me to fend for myself. Even now he often gets up to smoke right after intense evening but these days he comes back for the cuddling. I've also adapted by learning to speak up.

At first I had this idea that he knew what I wanted and was withholding it to be a big meanie. Since I never said anything he was often left wondering why I was sullen or giving him the evil eye. Things got way better after some talking. I think some sort of aftercare is important for him too. I don't smoke so he does that alone these days but we do spend time petting each other and exchanging loving words. 

I have started thinking of aftercare as less about physically connecting and more of a reassuring each other that no matter what was done or said in a scene we love, respect, and desire each other.