Adventures in Emmieland

Sometimes it feels like life in general is it to get me. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I beg to differ. What hasn’t killed me has made me crazy tired. Last night I was so exhausted I was about to cry, bodies weren’t meant to be that stressed. Here’s hoping things get a lot better sooner rather than later.

I was laying here today incapacitated by a rebelling body when I decided, now is a great time to write a poem, go figure.  I originally was going to post it on my poetry blog but seeing as how I’m locked out of it, again, I’m just going to put it here in all it’s long assed glory. I think about pain a lot, I’m in pain more often than not but I only ever hear it discussed clinically unless it’s a throwaway judgey as hell comment about everyone becoming addicts if so much as an Advil passes their lips or how everyone is over dramatic and they need to suck it up and tough it out. My thoughts tend to run more to the personal highs and lows of dealing with daily pain.                                    Pain Work through it Surrender to it Learn from it Turn your back on it We deal with pain Each on our own Although we should know We’re never truly alone It shouldn’t defin...

I was looking at a pic of my younger brother and his lady friend on fb and noticed there was one comment. It said “bishop” Now for all I know this is an inside joke between my brother and his friend but it made me think about how often I’ve seen/heard remarks telling someone a calling that they haven’t themselves claimed. What seems super odd to me is not just the audacity of it all but it mostly happens when someone is dressed up. Are we really so shallow that a nice suit equals pastoral potential? I’ve yet to encounter these prophecy comments based on pics of someone doing something  aside from singing in church or delivery a testimony. Where are the shout outs to people captured on camera behaving like Christians? Maybe I’m overthinking it but it certainly feels like there is something significant to ponder.

The ability, nay the insistence folks have on throwing shade befuddles me. Now I’m not going to lie I have been a bit shady myself but I do try to keep it out of public if I have to go there at all. FYI I find going to confession a good tool for self improvement. My priest knows my voice and seriously don’t want to be all “I’m being an intolerant jerk, again” every time I go. A lady posted a great pic of herself with her hair announcing itself with an unstructured Afro. I shouldn’t read the comments I’ve been internetting enough to know that but I did. A pleasant sunrise was how the vast majority of comments were compliments but there’s always that one. Someone comment that the poster’s skin was glowing which was immediately followed by someone else saying it was makeup and declaring her high confidence which negates her needing to hide behind a mask. Exactly why does one so confident feel the need to diss another woman for her beauty practices? The next moment of shadyness (probab...

You know the best thing about fiction, it's so often non fictional. I was reading a dark mafia romance, one of my favorite kinds, and came across a character I both rooted for and wanted to slap due to her cluelessness. It took reading through three books before I realized why she worked my nerves so badly, she was me. I clued in when I found myself agreeing that keeping her indoors/constantly attended in order to keep her out of trouble since she was hopeless at doing it herself, it gave me pause. Hmm wait a minute that sounds rather familiar, oh right that would be my life sans the billionaire mafioso. Nothing like a reality check brought on by a fictional character. I loved that she was soft and vulnerable and pliant but not weak although nearly everyone thought she was because her responses we not the norm. One thing I don't think people get is how you need to be strong to go through the world vulnerable. Softness is not for wimps, lol. In fact this girl was exactly the...