The Lie of Sports as a Cure All
I've read so much on body image and a recurring theme is getting girls into sports because girls who play sports do so much better all around! More confident, better body image, better academics, less likely to be sexually active before they are ready... sports is touted as the cure all for what ails girls when it comes to body issues and self confidence.
I call bullshit. I was an athletic kid well I should amend that, I was involved in physical activities since I was young throughout high school. What I wasn't was good at them. I joined a dojo in middle school b/c I had no choice. I hated it, I was hopeless at remembering my forms and while I was a good fighter I never liked sparring.Let's not even mention the yelling we were supposed to do with every strike. I am quiet spoken and rarely raise my voice. As an adolescent I was downright timid and painfully shy, being forced to yell in public was a special kind of torture. The mandatory hours of practice at home made me cry and being called upon to perform in front of everyone made me feel awkward. I was so relieved when I was finally allowed to quit after about 2 years.
In high school I ran track. Saying I was mediocre would be generous especially at my school where the girls track team was well known for producing great runners. I routinely came in last in my heat and home meets were horrid because then my peers and not just my teammates were witness to my ineptitude which meant I was bound to hear about it for the next week or so making my already miserable high school existence that much worse. I only kept at it because doing a sport looked good on my transcripts for college and more importantly when I was at track practice or away at a meet I wasn't at home.
Before all that I, like all the other kids in my school took gym class. I was that kid who was picked last for everything and hopeless no matter what we were doing. Weak, non flexible, uncoordinated, practically blind without my glasses gym class was my private 50 minute version of hell. When they introduced the presidential fitness test it was pity not skill that procured me a certificate each year. What many would find shocking is that at this same time I was routinely running 3 miles and doing the "daily 7" with my dad, a marine, whether for fun (his) or punishment (mine) and I started weight lifting when I was 9. I was never allowed to be a completely sedentary child. I was simply bad at athletic pursuits.
Sports didn't teach me jack except how much I hated them. I hated them all with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I was perfectly willing to never take another sport like thing in my life once I finally got out of high school but the college in my state had a gym requirement so I knew I not only had to do it more it was specific, I had to learn to swim to graduate. Umm I still can't swim and I didn't graduate, nuff said.
My body image has actually been pretty decent most of my life but I have to say it certainly wasn't due to participating in physical activities. If anything it was despite it as the messages I got from that were that I was inept, incapable, weak, and useless. That my body would betray me and be the cause of my humiliation with it's lack of coordination, muscle, and speed.
My point is we can't fall into the one size fits all trap, it doesn't it never has. We have to stop looking backwards with rose colored glasses "back in my day when kids played outside all the girls had no issues with their bodies" it's simply not true. Back then as it is now there were kids who were good at it, kids who were ok and kids who sucked. Kids who were lauded and those who were tortured and those who mostly flew under the radar. Some kids are more likely to be ok with themselves through some trick of fate, enviroment and genetics, those are the easy ones that just need a boost. The ones we need to be concerned with are the very ones we are trying to give a band aid to when they need a cast. The girls who are likely to have the greatest body issues aren't going to suddenly take on the confidence of an amazon because she started playing basketball. She's going to need her hand held, someone to walk her to a mirror and point out her beauty, probably many times over and there are still no promise made that she will come through puberty unscathed. We have to talk to her about beauty, function, intelligence, agency and in some ways let her find her way of celebrating her body. She might not like sports or be adept at them so if that's all you've got on the drawing board might I suggest you get a back up plan.
I call bullshit. I was an athletic kid well I should amend that, I was involved in physical activities since I was young throughout high school. What I wasn't was good at them. I joined a dojo in middle school b/c I had no choice. I hated it, I was hopeless at remembering my forms and while I was a good fighter I never liked sparring.Let's not even mention the yelling we were supposed to do with every strike. I am quiet spoken and rarely raise my voice. As an adolescent I was downright timid and painfully shy, being forced to yell in public was a special kind of torture. The mandatory hours of practice at home made me cry and being called upon to perform in front of everyone made me feel awkward. I was so relieved when I was finally allowed to quit after about 2 years.
In high school I ran track. Saying I was mediocre would be generous especially at my school where the girls track team was well known for producing great runners. I routinely came in last in my heat and home meets were horrid because then my peers and not just my teammates were witness to my ineptitude which meant I was bound to hear about it for the next week or so making my already miserable high school existence that much worse. I only kept at it because doing a sport looked good on my transcripts for college and more importantly when I was at track practice or away at a meet I wasn't at home.
Before all that I, like all the other kids in my school took gym class. I was that kid who was picked last for everything and hopeless no matter what we were doing. Weak, non flexible, uncoordinated, practically blind without my glasses gym class was my private 50 minute version of hell. When they introduced the presidential fitness test it was pity not skill that procured me a certificate each year. What many would find shocking is that at this same time I was routinely running 3 miles and doing the "daily 7" with my dad, a marine, whether for fun (his) or punishment (mine) and I started weight lifting when I was 9. I was never allowed to be a completely sedentary child. I was simply bad at athletic pursuits.
Sports didn't teach me jack except how much I hated them. I hated them all with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I was perfectly willing to never take another sport like thing in my life once I finally got out of high school but the college in my state had a gym requirement so I knew I not only had to do it more it was specific, I had to learn to swim to graduate. Umm I still can't swim and I didn't graduate, nuff said.
My body image has actually been pretty decent most of my life but I have to say it certainly wasn't due to participating in physical activities. If anything it was despite it as the messages I got from that were that I was inept, incapable, weak, and useless. That my body would betray me and be the cause of my humiliation with it's lack of coordination, muscle, and speed.
My point is we can't fall into the one size fits all trap, it doesn't it never has. We have to stop looking backwards with rose colored glasses "back in my day when kids played outside all the girls had no issues with their bodies" it's simply not true. Back then as it is now there were kids who were good at it, kids who were ok and kids who sucked. Kids who were lauded and those who were tortured and those who mostly flew under the radar. Some kids are more likely to be ok with themselves through some trick of fate, enviroment and genetics, those are the easy ones that just need a boost. The ones we need to be concerned with are the very ones we are trying to give a band aid to when they need a cast. The girls who are likely to have the greatest body issues aren't going to suddenly take on the confidence of an amazon because she started playing basketball. She's going to need her hand held, someone to walk her to a mirror and point out her beauty, probably many times over and there are still no promise made that she will come through puberty unscathed. We have to talk to her about beauty, function, intelligence, agency and in some ways let her find her way of celebrating her body. She might not like sports or be adept at them so if that's all you've got on the drawing board might I suggest you get a back up plan.
Comments
Post a Comment