Adventures in Emmieland

So much sex on my mind. For a few weeks my libido seemed to have disappeared but thankfully it's back. One thing that made it difficult was although my desire for sex was at tiny ember level I couldn't do anything on my own to spark it.  Frankly I am not good at self pleasure. While I love the feel of my hands on my body in general it doesn't feel sexy. For that I need him. I'm sure there are a plethora of reasons that I should be going all in on my own but meh I'm not built that way. I'm glad he was ready and willing to cajole me back to normal because now we are both reaping the fruits of his efforts. In news unrelated to my sex life my mood has been coming up. Yesterday I teared up while watching one of those too sweet for words videos. I'm feeling something besides bleak irritation. One thing that helped was going to mass. Something about the ritual of it all is calming and centering. The other thing was reading, in reading I can tap into all those bur...

I'm beginning to think life enjoys toying with me. Das is working and we have a place and a car so things are looking way up from a few months ago but still little things here and there keep creeping up making life just a tad more complicated. Banks that want to put extended holds on paychecks, jobs that don't do direct deposit, kidneys that insist on hurting when I sit upright more than 10 minutes, regular life stuff that I'm not feeling wholly up to tackling right this minute. On the other hand I'm still quite happy about my hair. It is feeling so light and easy that I find myself tossing my head just to feel it bounce. Everyone has their thing I guess. I'm still gathering the ummph to start on my essays. Monday is as good a day as any to start a project so that is my goal now. Get at least one section done this week, two if I get on a roll. But first a nap.

Molloy has decided that he cannot be contained. I put him in his crate and in the time it took me to get laundry from the basement he had somehow freed himself. No wonder he didn't fuss when I put him in if he knew he could escape, lol. The trails of having a clever pup. Now in his mind everything is perfect, He's laying on my feet I guess to keep me from getting uppity and trying to leave the room, lol.

I sat in the house most of today. Got up to take the dog out and to get lunch but otherwise I sat in the same spot all day. I'm finding I have no oomph. Sleep is eluding me again, down to 3 hrs and those generally after dawn. Everything feels like a huge bother to do which isn't good. I've been down this road before and the scenery sucks. Hopefully pushing to make myself take at least one walk a day and setting up a schedule so stuff actually gets done will keep me from going too far down.

Today was a catch up on all business I wasn't here to attend to day. Whew, glad everything is back on track now.  I take much pride in the fact that today I not only took the streetcar by myself, I transfered onto the subway and did not get lost either coming or going. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this public transit business. I practically collapsed around 1:30pm just wiped, luckily for the crazy puppy that was after I'd fed/walked him. He was all for a nap all curled up on me the lazy mutt.  Now I'm just awake enough to crave dinner. In hair news, today is day 3 of the pipe cleaner curls and I've still got some bounce. Next time I'll let them dry completely, maybe a hood dryer is in my new future. I'm not relishing the idea of wet hair in winter here.

Yesterday I washed and rolled my hair on pipe cleaners. Although I took them out this afternoon before my head was fully dry I'm quite happy with the results. And still trippin' about how much lighter my head is.                                                              Before After

Hungry shopping never ends well or rather it ends too well. On this occasion we have lemon tarts, apple tarts, gelato, and cheese cake. I was craving something sweet and it all jumped in my cart. Luckily Das oversaw the buying of actual food and as a result we had a lovely stir fry. I'm liking this electric wok. This morning I set to work righting the things that had been neglected during my week away. I cleaned and took care of business then I fixed my hair the best I could and snuggled with the puppy. My hair had me muttering because when I asked him to cut it I was very specific about what I wanted. I'm reminding myself that it's only hair, it will grow back in a yr or three to the length I originally wanted. Probably just in time for our wedding which we haven't actually scheduled yet. I'm so glad to be home.

I got some fun time in with my fam last night. We went to a drive in, not to see a movie but to get some of the best ice cream ever. I got a large cone big mistake, lol. No one told me the large was nearly as big as my head. It was delicious though.  Then my cuz and I watched movies, well in the way that I do just checking in every few minutes to catch up on the plot. Since we watched 2 at a time it made for a silly rather confusing time but I wouldn't trade it in. In a few hours I am back on the train headed into canada. WooHoo homeward bound! 

On my way back to Das tomorrow. It's been a crazy week all kinds of highs and lows culminating in a haircut. I must say my thought of waist length hair is so not happening anytime soon, my neck was way too pained to continue on that way, lol. My adorable 20something male cousin chopped it for me. Didn't do too shabbily either. For my last night with my aunt, uncle and cousins I am going to eat peach cobbler & ice cream, laugh and be thankful for a loving family.

Even though we are all sad we are having fun telling tall tales and nearly forgotten family stories. Having so much love around makes things easier.

I took the first train ride (12 hrs) that I remember yesterday from Toronto to Albany, NY then turned around and rode for about 11 hrs to NC so I am too pooped to pop.  Sadly it's not a pleasure visit, my mom passed on Monday and I'm here for her funeral.  I'm so glad that I've seen and talked to her recently. I can't imagine how I'd feel if we hadn't been in contact. The outpouring of love from my friends has been very heartening. A long weekend ahead followed by a long week back.

Since it's a nice slow weekend morning and I didn't want to watch soccer I decided to mess around with my camera. I hadn't had a chance to play with the remote control Das got for me right before we left TX so no time like the present. I must say for ease of taking even standing up shots I love it! Now if I can just get the right lighting I'd be in business. I did get better the longer I was at it and even got Das to sit for me once. Need more models, I have way more pictures of myself than should be allowed. Oh well at least I'm cute. :) P.S. day 4 of the twist out, not too bad. I'll be doing this style again soon. Next work intensive style will be rolling my hair on pipe cleaners right after washing. I can only hope the curls from that have as good holding time.  

It has occurred to me recently that I need bigger clothes. Not bigger everywhere but bigger in an it hurts when things constrict my well rounded tummy, way. Since all my recent growth has been in my belly. I'm think possibly maternity jeans and leggings that have a flat waistline and more blousy shirts and high waisted dresses. PKD wreaks havoc on a wardrobe, sigh.  Today's first attempt at non belly hugging shirt below. Picture quality not great due to low light but it wasn't a glamour shot so I'm cool. As an aside I twisted my hair after washing and left them in for a few days. Took them out yesterday and am still rocking waves today. A darn sight better than them lasting an hour or so when I do it dry. yesterday's hair

I read something today where some said pop culture was what causes people to judge. It started me thinking about what makes pop culture worse in this way than any other kind of culture? So far I haven't come up with anything because as I'm looking at it an element of judging outsiders is intrinsic to all culture/sub culture groupings. I'm going to have to give this more thought.

At the wee hours of the morning I watched a video on twin flames. I'd never heard of twin flames before so it was pretty interesting to me. Although I hadn't heard the name I'm intimately acquainted with the type of relationship that was described. It's pretty neat how you don't have to be aware of something or even necessarily hold a belief in it in order to experience it. Something that struck me was the part of the description about the beginning of these relationships. It was said that early on there is testing and obstacles from outside that make being together difficult. I can attest to that, lol. Das and I had a crazy beginning where the only thing not in question was that we were inexplicably drawn to one another. That isn't said to minimize the importance of the relationships we were already in but to illustrate just how compelling it was for us to be together that we jumped through crazy hoops to make it happen. One thing that was said was "I ...

It's been a while since I pulled out the good camera so today I decided to mess around with it. Nothing fancy just sitting on the bed trying to figure out lighting and angles for self portraits since that is most of what I take. I don't remember it being this difficult, sheesh after about 45 minutes of fiddling, taking a picture and fiddling some more I got tired. And only one ok-ish picture to show for it!  I am thrilled with my remote though. A lot easier than the self timer. sadly it's not that long so it can only be used up close.  I'm glad to finally be coming out of my bleh zone and doing things I love. Sadly it didn't occur to me to bring my camera yesterday when we went to the caribbean festival. So many photo ops missed with the wonderful costumes in the parade and the brightness everywhere. I'll remember next year.