Vanilla dating kinky relationship
I've heard a lot of people say that dating in the bdsm world is just like dating in the vanilla world. In fact I've probably said it myself but I think I was wrong.
Reason being that dating non kinky has a lot of general support and structures to follow or deviate from somewhat but all in all people aren't winging it in the same way. Kinky dating whether you are looking for someone play compatible or looking for M/s or a combination thereof is walking off the beaten path. You can't date someone in a vanilla manner and know if you'll suit kink wise. To some degree you have to actually try it.
I guess some people who are specifically looking for some form of kink, do date in a strictly vanilla manner initially then switch over when they feel comfortable with their person, but I can see that falling apart simply because you aren't actually getting to know the person in the manner in which you wish to relate to them. Now I'm not saying that in order for it to work you have to have a serious play session or start kneeling and swearing undying obedience on the first date but putting it all aside for months while establishing a relationship just to change gears once you think it's solid can be disruptive. You've already gotten a flow going and even if it's a change you both want it can be jarring which particularly in a newish relationship can be deadly.
Reason being that dating non kinky has a lot of general support and structures to follow or deviate from somewhat but all in all people aren't winging it in the same way. Kinky dating whether you are looking for someone play compatible or looking for M/s or a combination thereof is walking off the beaten path. You can't date someone in a vanilla manner and know if you'll suit kink wise. To some degree you have to actually try it.
I guess some people who are specifically looking for some form of kink, do date in a strictly vanilla manner initially then switch over when they feel comfortable with their person, but I can see that falling apart simply because you aren't actually getting to know the person in the manner in which you wish to relate to them. Now I'm not saying that in order for it to work you have to have a serious play session or start kneeling and swearing undying obedience on the first date but putting it all aside for months while establishing a relationship just to change gears once you think it's solid can be disruptive. You've already gotten a flow going and even if it's a change you both want it can be jarring which particularly in a newish relationship can be deadly.
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