Taking Over
I think sometimes we as women are too quick to jump to the front with a solution in our relationships with men. I can't speak for lesbian relationships so I'm just going with what I have most knowledge of.
An example of what I mean is we need a cheaper apartment and I started off looking myself, trying to figure out where is good and whatnot although I don't have a good enough knowledge of the area to make informed decisions. My attitude was that I had to do it b/c obviously Das wasn't going to and it needed to be done. Mind you I hadn't actually asked him to do it or even to help me, I just took of with an idea.
Somewhere along the way I stopped., I was tired and making myself loopy because I wasn't the best person to make these decisions. I didn't throw a tantrum or even announce that I was removing myself from the apartment hunt. For about a week Das said nothing to me but unbeknownst to me he was looking himself and had come up with several viable options which he presented me with today.
So for all my worry that if I didn't do it then it wouldn't get done was completely unfounded. It did show me something though and that was how easy it is to try to take over without even leaving any room for him to do what needed to be done. It doesn't happen often in our house but when it does I'm struck by how by my actions I'm actually inhibiting his ability and motivation to get stuff done. He reminds me all the time that people tend to live up or down to expectations after all.
An example of what I mean is we need a cheaper apartment and I started off looking myself, trying to figure out where is good and whatnot although I don't have a good enough knowledge of the area to make informed decisions. My attitude was that I had to do it b/c obviously Das wasn't going to and it needed to be done. Mind you I hadn't actually asked him to do it or even to help me, I just took of with an idea.
Somewhere along the way I stopped., I was tired and making myself loopy because I wasn't the best person to make these decisions. I didn't throw a tantrum or even announce that I was removing myself from the apartment hunt. For about a week Das said nothing to me but unbeknownst to me he was looking himself and had come up with several viable options which he presented me with today.
So for all my worry that if I didn't do it then it wouldn't get done was completely unfounded. It did show me something though and that was how easy it is to try to take over without even leaving any room for him to do what needed to be done. It doesn't happen often in our house but when it does I'm struck by how by my actions I'm actually inhibiting his ability and motivation to get stuff done. He reminds me all the time that people tend to live up or down to expectations after all.
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