Speak no evil while living it up

I read the first four books in a kink series and enjoyed it. Most of the time I think the depiction of the submissives and/or the doms is too farfetched for me to get into the story but these books have good if somewhat improbable at times, storylines going that weave in the kink and the various doms/subs aren't interchangeable. So far no one has opted for M/s but it has been mentioned and not in the "those people are crazy" way.  It almost makes me want to try my hand at a kinky story but then I remember that I can't write a sex scene to save my life.

Why I can't write about things I'm perfectly willing to do doesn't really make sense but at least I'm consistent. While I am actually doing the things the hardest part for me is talking. The dialog in my head is super hot but sadly it rarely makes it out of my mouth without massive prodding and double doses of self consciousness. Of course while I'm bemoaning my inability to talk dirty I think Das is enjoying torturing things out of me. Just gives him yet another avenue to revel in his sadism. Bastard.