Adventures in Emmieland

It is hard for me to believe that Das and I have been together for 10 yrs as of today. In the beginning I thought it meant something special, what I wasn't sure, that he and I were together at the start of a new year. Seems like I was right. :)  No going out to party tonight, we're staying in, drinking soda and snacking on a chocolate yule log. If my luck holds out maybe we will ring in the new year intertwined but even if we aren't having sex we will be together like we have been since 2006. I look at how things are now and despite some uncertainty about all kinds of stuff we have limited/no control of one thing I don't question is us. I'm content and happy which sometimes surprises me. So much of my life I've been not exactly unhappy but somewhat removed from my own life. Being present is pretty nice.  The funniest thing I think this year has brought is me getting the latest Drake and TI cds. I'm not even sure when I started enjoying more than the W...

Christmas was good. We had a nice trip to the inlaws and we we got there the chocolate consumption was high. :) I'm rather amazed that I didn't gain more weight frankly because I always eat more there, I swear they put something in the food. We all exchanged presents and everyone seemed happy with what they got. I know I was. I got sparkly things and lotions, stuff I love. His mom is pretty perceptive because even though I always get girly things she never gives me nail polish which is good seeing as how I don't wear it. I am going to have a stellar collection of gloves though since I still have the ones from last year. Of course at this time of year there is no such thing as too many gloves. It snowed a few days, stayed sunny for Christmas and started sleeting the next morning. I'm glad we only made a day trip, driving home in that mess would have been horrible. Hopefully things will settle down soon as Das was caught in the layoff at the beginning of the month a...

I have figured out that if I turn or bend or something I look like I have a waistline, lol. I love how pictures actually can lie. That was a couple of days ago. I've been back to playing with the good camera. I'm just going to work with the fact that I ebb and flow on stuff and not worry about the fact that I don't always do whatever at an appointed time. No use wasting time on senseless feelings of what I should be when I can be enjoying what I actually am. Das has a studio downstairs and I have my office, it's great because he can't hear me jamming up here and I can't hear him. I love the finished product but having sat through many practices it gets boring. Today we made an emergency run to get gift bags, both of us suck at wrapping so I am eternally grateful to the inventors of the gift bag. Mine has princesses :) I wonder if that will cause a raised eyebrow tomorrow at the in laws.  I'm armed with new black leggings, thermal socks for walking ar...

Yesterday I skyped with a friend in GA, today I skyped with a dinner party of friends in TX. I think I like skype, lol Earlier Das and I were discussing my music vs his music and what makes mine so annoying  (to him) we got onto the thought that black music has a very extreme emotional range, it tends to make you want to jump all around or be very very sad. He hates that. I explained that at least for me music like this gives me a place to express all the emotions I've gotten so good at keeping contained b/c I can't be the angry black woman, or the hysterical girl, or a drama queen... In music I can get as dramatic as I want to without censure. Sure most of what I listen to is classified as pop but it's pop that speaks to me on some level. I'm aware that other groups do this such as the expressing of teen angst through heavy metal or punk. I think that letting music be for you what you cannot be for yourself is a part of the human condition to some degree or other...

Yesterday was sunny and I decided to have some fun. After chasing the dogs around the back yard and discovering unknown animal tracks by the house I figured a picture was needed. Since I was feeling brave I posed with no coat (laid it by the tripod) and it came out well. What has me laughing today is the dress I had on. It was advertised as a dress and in my size no less but when I tried to take it off I got stuck in it. It would seem that chubby girls are not supossed to have chubby arms, makes no sense to me but I've encountered it in my clothing more than a few times. This time though I fault myself, while the material is nice and thick, perfect with tights and a sweater, it does not have any known stretchy qualities. Although I do the majority of my clothes shopping online I do check the materials because I've found over the years that clothes with no stretch rarely work on me. Sometimes it's easy to fall for the allure of something cute though. 

Weirdly yesterday was my sleep all day drag ass day. It's weird because yesterday it wasn't snowing and it was bright and sunny, I usually conk out on overcast days but I guess you can only get so much low quality sleep before your body steps in and lays you out. Feeling way better today, even went outside and played with the dogs in the snow. It was rolling around my mind how a couple can have basically the same idea of how their relationship should look but for differing reasons. Just one of the random things that runs through my mind. Another random thing was my thought of entering a convent as a lay sister in the event of Das' premature demise. I thought he'd look at me like I'd lost my mind but he actually thought it made sense for me. Who would have thought it? Talked to my ex and helped him think through a few things. I hate the position he's in but I am feeling heartened that he seems to have learned a lot from the recent unpleasant experiences. ...

Sometimes isolation is a good thing, sometimes not but lately I've been feeling both a touch more social and annoyed with my social options. As much as I want to hang out for brunch or fun chit chat I want to do it with people who get us. It's annoying to have to be so aware of everything I say and do. We had a short lesson then a Christmas party at RCIA class last week and it was both fun and frustrating. I mean seriously is it that odd for a wife to make her husband's plate? No one looked offended it was just the look of utter shock that passed over the faces of those who realized Das was sitting down and I was getting his meal and making sure he had drinks. It's not that I made a big deal of it it's just that because I was the only wife doing anything remotely like it I stood out. I want to be in the company of people where that doesn't stand out, where it's the norm at least sometimes. This is the biggest difficulty I've had with moving. We have ...

I pulled the old camera out and decided pictures were in order. Since I'm my best model it's me! I had to be cute today because I had a dental appt and no need to look as dreadful as I feel about going. It's been a tired as all get out day, recuperating from all the running around I did yesterday. Yesterday I was sucked into the vortex that is Forever21. I swear they plat that place just so you get lost and buy more in hopes of finding the exit. I didn't do too badly 4 dresses, al summer but hey at least I'll be styling in the heat. I've determined that I look great in skater or fit and flare styles but unless a straight style has a good deal of stretch and is relatively short it does nothing for me. A couple things I picked up were so not me. It's easier to find what I want online but good to go in to see how fabrics actually look and feel so you aren't stuck making a return like I was. Or worse yet buying something on final sale that doesn't fi...

Yesterday there were blue plaid tights but I didn't get a picture, day before that blue/black paisley. I must say one of the best things about cold weather is the silly tights. They make me smile even when I feel like crap and it's all grey outside. Today I'm rocking cordaroys because it's not only cold it's snowing and I had to be out at 9am driving to pick up Das' baby from the shop. We won't even discuss how I got turned around leaving the mechanics and was on my way somewhere but not home when I finally noticed nothing looked right. Luckily I was on the right street just the wrong direction so it wasn't too stressful to simply turn around and go back. I made it home in one piece and I got to rock the pop music. That was our second attempt. We went yesterday but after a few mishaps that I thought were cleared up so i left, I got a call halfway home to go back (through horrible traffic) b/c the car died. Luckily he wasn't hurt and the car made it...

I woke up this morning thinking about pop singers. Odd I know but something I read yesterday about not operating in the masculine was on my mind. I am redoing my entire itunes since i did something or other and deleted all my music, since I'm starting fresh I'm adding stuff I didn't have before and one of those things is a cd by Rhianna. I've heard some of her singles and watched a few of her videos and I enjoy her voice. I'm also re-uploading my Nikki Minaj cd. I like her attitude although it doesn't actually mirror my own, maybe that's why I like it. And of course I have to get all my Pink back. Anyways I was thinking about these artist and showing power in a feminine and masculine manner. I love to hear Rhianna sing but I don't like her videos mostly and I am wondering if it's b/c although she shows her body quite a bit and it's a lovely feminine body, her  presentation of herself is often very masculine in my view. I can't even fully ar...