Brain twisting
I've been reading an autobiographical novel, it's actually a 7 book series about a woman's childhood and adulthood. One thing that has me intrigued is how despite her being practically continually abused by her parents no one believes her. Her mother is such a successful liar and has gone out of her way to paint her as a liar and violent so that multiple teachers, social workers, doctors, and a child pdoc refuse to give any credence to her allegations. It's one of those situations that you have to believe because fiction wouldn't be so outrageous.
One thing that makes my brain hurt is how easy it is for supposedly informed professionals to be manipulated. It makes one wonder just how often children's pleas for help go not only unanswered by fault of ignorance but willfully ignored because it doesn't fit the image or idealistic view of either the family situation or specific people. From what I've seen although people by and large are quick to condem child abuse they are slow to believe allegations particularly from the child themselves. Then there is the issue of pride that rears its head when a child help professional realizes they were mistaken in their dismissal because but would rather hold fast to their original opinion than admit ther mistake. The welfare of the child isn't, as it is supposed to be, the first consideration, not losing face is.
As much as we hear about how child centered our society has become when I look at it I don't see all this cantering as sincere efforts to help children. It seems to mostly be a position held that is more about a positive reflection on the adults. Children are by and large pretty expendable. Of course few people would actually say that but as is generally true actions speak louder than words.
I've had several conversations as an adult with adults who played parts in my childhood asking them about this or that. Even when they state that whatever we are talking about would be unacceptable for their child, they work hard to rationalize why these things were ok for me or at least why they never took a sand against them. So even decades later maintaining their own good view of themselves and their choices is more important than even a simple admission of having made a wrong decision. I'd like to think that I'm better than that but honestly I've never had to make moral decisions of that type, so I don't know if I would have caved under the social pressure or stood up for those unable to stand for themselves. One never truly knows until they have been there.
One thing that makes my brain hurt is how easy it is for supposedly informed professionals to be manipulated. It makes one wonder just how often children's pleas for help go not only unanswered by fault of ignorance but willfully ignored because it doesn't fit the image or idealistic view of either the family situation or specific people. From what I've seen although people by and large are quick to condem child abuse they are slow to believe allegations particularly from the child themselves. Then there is the issue of pride that rears its head when a child help professional realizes they were mistaken in their dismissal because but would rather hold fast to their original opinion than admit ther mistake. The welfare of the child isn't, as it is supposed to be, the first consideration, not losing face is.
As much as we hear about how child centered our society has become when I look at it I don't see all this cantering as sincere efforts to help children. It seems to mostly be a position held that is more about a positive reflection on the adults. Children are by and large pretty expendable. Of course few people would actually say that but as is generally true actions speak louder than words.
I've had several conversations as an adult with adults who played parts in my childhood asking them about this or that. Even when they state that whatever we are talking about would be unacceptable for their child, they work hard to rationalize why these things were ok for me or at least why they never took a sand against them. So even decades later maintaining their own good view of themselves and their choices is more important than even a simple admission of having made a wrong decision. I'd like to think that I'm better than that but honestly I've never had to make moral decisions of that type, so I don't know if I would have caved under the social pressure or stood up for those unable to stand for themselves. One never truly knows until they have been there.
Comments
Post a Comment