Adventures in Emmieland

Ran across several FB postings today about the dangers of calling girls pretty. Apparently commenting on a girl's attractiveness can stop her from pursuing a career in a STEM field or cause eating disorders. That's a lot of pressure to put on people to not compliment cuteness. I do get where the ads were coming from but I think they were going a bit overboard. It's one thing to ever only be complimented on looks and a whole nother to have your looks complimented along with other things. Haven't the people behind these campaigns ever read books featuring sisters with the time honored trope of the smart one and the pretty one? Nothing good  tends to comes from extremes. From the time they are little there is nothing wrong with telling a girl that she is pretty as well as smart and strong and creative and clever and sweet and loving and whatever other wonderful attributes she displays. Balance.

A thought flitted across my brain last night that I still haven't unraveled. I find myself annoyed when I hear people celebrate single mothers on father's day for being both mother and  father as well as single fathers on mother's day for being both father and mother. Something about it just doesn't feel right to me. Maybe because of the subtle insinuation of the necessity of a father and mother in a child's life to the point that one person is obligated to be both as if simply being who they are to their child isn't good enough. Not all single parents are without support systems or even co parents and yet the idea is still pervasive that if a child is not brought up in a 2 parent (with parents of opposite genders) family then there is a fundamental lack that must be compensated for in the child's life. In the case of a gay couple with a child it's so obvious that there are two parents who are dads (or moms) that I don't think it occurs to anyone...

I have finally figured out the timer on my real camera woohoo! Since it has a million and one buttons that was no easy task now I just need to remember it. So far I can't see how to make it save the configuration but at least I can do it. Next up is learning to use the tripod. My favorite pic I took of myself today is below.

I wonder why in discussions about potential changes that may occur over time in a master the first thing that comes up are denials of people's masters harming them or going insane or going from mono to poly. And of course there is the obligatory qualifier given of having known the master in question very well before becoming their slave. There seems to be a mistaken assumption that change equals something negative and something that can be avoided by an appropriate amount of knowledge. Change is inevitable given enough time and it doesn't have to be anything huge or distressing just something different. I don't think in M/s that it has to be a horrible thing. It could be daunting if a slave believes that the Master she submitted to is going to remain exactly the same in every way forevermore. That is an unrealistic and unfair expectation.  Masters change, sometimes in tiny ways like they decide they lose their taste for vanilla ice cream and have a lower tolerance for alc...

In the blogs I read about growing up in fundamentalist christianity there has been a recent uproar about an article posted in a christian magazine written by a former youth leader who is currently serving jail time for statutory rape of one of the young women in his youth group. From what I understand the article has been taken down and an apology issued by the magazine for running it after they were blasted with comments, letters, and personal accounts from people who had been in similar circumstances as youths. What I didn't see though was a truly thoughtful discussion of the matter. I read the article and I certainly didn't think the man was taking even a modicum of responsibility for his actions let alone exhibit any empathy for the young woman involved or his wife and how things affected them. He was playing the "my wife wasn't paying me enough attention so I basked in the adoration of a willing lolita and oops slipped into sin" card. And the opponents of t...

I'm not sure how it happened but yesterday we ended up going from having the intention of driving out to look at a car before lunchtime and being back with plenty of time to watch the World Cup to running out of has out in the country an hour from home.  We missed the World Cup game he wanted to see which I heard was really good and got harassed by a couple who I guess thought we looked disreputable. They seemed to be the only ones mind you since several other folks stopped to ask if we needed help. We had help coming but greatly appreciated the gesture. After it was all said and done we spent nearly 8 hrs out in the Texas sun which is no joke in June. Our day did have a fun ending though since we got to go celebrate Dejuan's birthday at a really great new local restaurant. For someone who had spend all day outdoors sweating I cleaned up pretty well. 

Today i played with self portraits again but on my iphone and not my real camera. I need to find my tripod which is buried somewhere around here. Since during the packing I upgraded to a camera that has a timer I can at least in theory take all kinds of great pics. Now I just need to learn how to use it. I managed to get a picture of the little dog and the cat wrestling the other day too, it's fuzzy but I think it is clear enough to see who was winning. The dogs even behaved long enough for a nice sitting portrait. Most times when I pull out the camera and point it at them they come over to try and lick it. Makes getting decent pictures of them a little tricky.

Friend's wedding this past weekend was great fun, we danced like mad, ate too much yummy dessert and grinned like loons at when they recited their custom vows. I can't be sure but I think the wedding photographer got a picture of me gettin' low to Baby Got Back (just can't take me anywhere) and I know he got a few others. Seems I was the only person who thought a bright color was the way to go. Never before had I been questioned about my age when getting alcohol at a wedding reception but I was nearly refused a beer b/c the bartender didn't believe I was of age, good thing someone I knew was nearby to vouch for me who also happened to be working on the behind the scenes wedding stuff. Sheesh! Maybe it was the lace ankle socks...  We had so much fun that I forgot to take any pictures so the only one I have of me in the dress is one Das took after we got home right before we went to bed. I'll have to ask him to get all gussied up again sometime so I can capture hi...

I was talking to a friend yesterday about her definition of the difference between a bdsm practictoner, a  fetishest  and a hedonist. She placed people involved in M/s and D/s dynamics in the bdsm practitioner category whereas I did not. I see M/s & D/s as relationship dynamics which in and of themselves aren't different than any other way someone might decide to handle their relationship but with kinky accoutrements. I think it gets thrown in with the bdsm crown b/c quite often the people who practice those relationship dynamics also enjoy bdsm activities within those relationships. There is also the common habit of collaring and oft seen deference  slaves show for their masters which evokes strong reactions in people who witness it given our current societies leaning toward egalitarian relationships.   Having a place where one can behave publicly as one wishes without concern for the sensibilities of people not privy to the inner working of your relationship dr...

Went to bed roughly 5 hours ago. I didn't sleep all 5 of those hours but I was in bed. It still trips me out a little that as long as Das is in bed I sleep like a log but if he's not my sleep is pretty spotty. Last night he was up and down a lot and then just up. So here I am, up. He however is now sleeping like a baby on the couch. Ah well such is the life of a one who does not sleep well alone. It's too bad I don't drink coffee, then I could have caffeine assisted coherence and write a witty insightful post on something but as it is I'm groggy tired so it will have to wait.  

I have the cutest dress for a friend's wedding on Saturday, it's lace coral (i think, not quite orange, not quite pink) skater dress.  I feel very "spring" in it. I am so tempted to wear ankle socks with lace trim but I will behave difficult though it may be. Tucking that idea in the back of my mind for photo op later though. I'm looking forward to going since they are some of the sweetest people I know and it's going to be a hoot I'm sure. They radiate happiness when they're together which is something I love. Mushy couples are awesome. I don't think we have any other plans this weekend which is nice. I love being able to just chill or hop up all spur of the moment. Das is planning a dress up surprise so I won't tell... pictures will be forthcoming.

It occurred to me that the issue might not be that kids' brains aren't fully developed until they are in their early 20s and therefore we have to make allowances for their erratic behavior and impulsivity and immaturity but that the problem could very well be that by treating kids as if they are going to be impulsive, irrational, immature by default until their early to mid 20s and not teaching them to think or expecting more of them we've actually retarded their brain development.