Adventures in Emmieland

My dad said he thought I was tough, to him that was a compliment, to me not so much. When I think of being tough I think of being out of touch with feelings, undemonstrative, and impatient with others who show weakness.  Tough is closing yourself off not only from yourself but from everyone else too. I don't think i'm tough and I have no desire to be. What he doesn't get is that I'm happiest not having to pretend to be tough like I did most of my childhood. I love being in a place in my life and with someone who encourages me to actually be present and embrace the whole of myself. I like to think I'm resilient, that is a different thing to me. It means I can get through whatever life throws at me but I don't have to do it steely eyed and with a stiff upper lip. I get to laugh, cry, scream, dance, yell and whatever the hell else I need to do. Tough may well be the natural state for someone but I'm not the one.

It has surprised me to see how up on American politics most of the Canadians I've met are. Not only informed but delighted to talk about it at length and with a lot of insight. People are passionate but for the most part respectful. Frankly it's quite a different experience than talking politics in the US. I got into a discussion this weekend with Das' mother about the pitfalls of democracy and what part the queen plays in maintaining a balance in British politics. Not something I ever thought I'd be called upon to chat about. I'm so glad I paid at least some attention when Das wanted to talk about it. This weekend was cool, we spent it with his parents and I must say I was rather spoiled. There was apple juice which we never buy because Das doesn't like it, as well as a myriad of yummy snacks. I liked that things were less formal than they had been. Even though I'm sure I said many things that made them question my sanity and upbringing we had fun laugh...

Last night by some feat available only to those with an unusually high fear of all things crawly, without my glasses on (last check my vision without my glasses was around 20/240, so to say things are blurry is a massive understatement) I managed to pinpoint a headboard colored spider, on the headboard of our bed. This would not have been too terrible except we were already in said bed. Das was already snoring but woke up instantly at my calmly delivered "there's a spider on our bed" and hunted it down. Now his vision is way better than mine but with my prenatural sense of creepy crawlies I knew it was still there after he thought he'd vanquished it, the first and second times. Without any display of annoyance he soldiered on until we were both completely satisfied that it was gone never to return in this life. Then he cuddled my arachnophobic ass until I was no longer on high alert.  Considering all this went down around 2am, that's some serious love.

I have been reading people's answer to the question "what does it feel like to be a child prodigy?" I noticed that a lot of the answers had a similar theme in social development. I'd never refer to myself as a child prodigy I guess the best way to describe me is what they call twice gifted now. I had a significantly higher than average IQ and I also had learning disabilities. My experiences as a child and adult followed a lot of the same trajectory as many of the people who answered on the forum though. I read very early and my parents were advised to skip me kindergarten and first grade but my mom was concerned about how that would affect my social development so I was bored beyond belief in the early years of school. Where I differed from others who answered though is that school did not come easy. That sounds contradictory but while I had a great grasp of ideas and loved learning I suck at test, my math skills have always been sub par and I can't spell to sav...

So it seems that soon I will get to hear from my kids again. God only knows how much damage has been done with at least two years worth of no communication and living with someone quite biased against me but if we are in contact we can work it out.  I'm always pretty proud of myself for saying what's on my mind but it also scares the bejesus out of me so I have to work up to it. It paid off this time since after contacting my ex we began the long term process of mending fences.  I know some people would hate him for his actions but I don't. We were friends for my entire adult life before this craziness went down and I hope to one day be friends again but trust won't come easily.  Now there are a couple other people I have a few things to say to. After I practice umpteen times take a clown and Steele myself for the backlash. 

Yesterday was unusually warm for early March. Mind you that just means it was above freezing and I have obviously been here too long because I decided to forgo my usually heavy coat for a light jacket. We decided to run the dogs around and wear them out which was nicely accomplished with both of us taking them out for twenty to forty five minutes at a time. I also took some cool pictures of the falling down building nearby. Sadly I can't upload them because I have already exceeded my measly 100GB per month with a week to go for resetting. Das did however take a silly pic of me in the back yard.  We also took the puppy of rottenness to the vet for her four month shots. She has gained ten lbs over the last 4 wks putting her at 32.2lbs. She's a butterball. According to the vet she should start her real growth spurt soon since she is beginning to lose puppy teeth. If doubling her size since we got her isn't a "real" growth spurt I'm scared to see what is coming.  ...

I'm bouncy excited that we are finally going to a munch out here in about a week and a half.  The venue looks nice, there is food I will eat an dit doesn't look like it will be over crowded which I like. Saturday night we looked for stuff to do and I'm finding it rather daunting that nearly everything even vaguely kinky is set with swinging and swapping. Not big on that myself so I've been trying to find the stuff that is just bdsm to no avail. We did end up going on a fin date to a studio on Sat so it was all good. Sunday was spent laying around in my pajamas but I made up for it today with my super cleaning self. Now chilling again. My sweater came today so I'll be able to make use of my sundresses easier. why wait till summer to be all dressed out. I tried to buy a bra two weeks ago and it got lost in transit, just my luck. So I'm still needing more bras but not feeling like running to the store to get them since if I can even find my size the cost is cra...

Seems that I suck at taking time off, lol. Maybe it's just a compulsion to put my thoughts and activities on paper (or screen as the case may be) I told a girlfriend that I was taking a break because my life is kinda dull and I can't seem to say new and exciting things. She pointed out that dull is what most people aspire to in their daily lives and there are plenty of people nosey like me who enjoy reading about the simple day to day workings of other people. That definitely took off the pressure to be "on" when I blog. Last night Das and I went on a date. He rolls his eyes when I say that but it fits. we got dressed up, left the house and mingled with others in a social venue, sounds like a date to me. We went to a studio to enjoy djing. We even danced a little bit. I felt good because with it being a studio space it's not big and therefore overrun with the masses. The music was fun and the guys were nice and amusing. I look forward to going back. Forgot to ...

I'm thinking about taking a hiatus from blogging. It seems I can't ever get around to organizing my thoughts enough to blog about what I'm thinking anymore but I don't know if it is a permanent state or not yet. Maybe I've already said all I can say about topics that interest me and really my life is pretty quiet.