Done?

Sometimes I wonder how people come up with their ideas on what being a sub is. I read something today by a woman who used to identify as a sub but has decided it's not for her, which is cool but some of her reasons made me go huh.

One was that no longer wanted to be hurt. Cool but no one has to be into pain to be a sub... She also mentioned no longer wanting to to be hurt by someone who doesn't love her and so on. As I read it I had empathy for her pain but didn't see it as a kink thing honestly. I don't see being a sub the same way I guess.

What I saw was someone making choices to do things that went against her own self interests. That's not kinky that's the kind of thing we have all done somewhere in our lives for various reasons. Kink may have been the vehicle by which she betrayed herself but it wasn't the reason. And it will take getting to the reason to make sure it doesn't happen again.