Mine?

Thinking about what it means to belong to someone and it occurred to me that you can't really belong to someone unless they also belong to you. I've heard multiple dominant partners say that they are the owners and it's not appropriate for the owned to feel possessive of them. For a time I tried to wrap my head around that and despaired the fact that I never could reach that point. It's something I've come to time and again, feeling guilty for having a strong sense of him being "mine" since I'm his. Now I don't think they have it right. It's not that he shouldn't be mine or that I should not feel possessive of him, the surrender comes into play with the acknowledgement that even though he's mine I can't control him. Trying to exert control over him is the inappropriate thing and I think it's much harder to have a strong sense of owning someone as much as they own you but not only commit to them exerting not only influence but overt control over you and simultaneously accept your lack of control over them.

Seems to me that it's much easier to simply not let them in but while it does sound easier in keeping them at arms length in that manner you forgo the fullness that can only be achieved with full immersion as it were.