Reactions

I was reading a novel yesterday, the man character was a woman who went to great lengths to not believe people about the criminal activities she's told about. This made my mind jump to how common it is for people to accept without question negative stories about those they have a relationship with as opposed to seemingly blind belief. I know I've witnessed parents and spouses having both responses, sometimes see both in the same person.

It's always odd to witness even in myself.  Last night an idea  came to me. When someone tells you something unflattering about your person they are inadvertently calling your judgment into question. We don't like that so shutting the info out seems like a reasonable knee jerk reaction. We all have our insecurities.  After all we've had someone outside reinforce our fears and in a roundabout way, our judgement.

Now when something negative doesn't reinforce some kind of preexisting negative belief then the more likely to fall into a "I don't believe a word you are saying" attitude. So while the responses are opposing the not conscious underlying self preservation impulse is at play in both. Now I'm wondering to what degree we can train ourselves out of that type of knee jerk response and intake information in a more balanced way.