Adventures in Emmieland

I saw something recently that made my eyebrows shoot up. There was a post about a sick master who choose not to religiously adhere to suggested things that would encourage a speedier recovery which was posted by the slave who was concerned and frustrated. The responses given to the slave by a variety of people active in kink were generally supportive but what puzzled me was how many people encouraged the slave to take control of the master to get compliance. I don't know what if any action the slave in question took so I'm not at all judging that, I'm just surprised at the comments that leaned toward setting aside M/s to deal with the illness. Since there was no indication of the master in this post having lost cognitive function I personally see no reason for such a reaction. It makes me think about when people say things about being M/s but putting is on the back burner when "life" getting in the way. A scenario such as the above is "life" but not in...

So I've finally heard about this sex spreadsheet that was written by a husband for his wife showing how often she turned him down and why. I've seen a few debates about whether he should have written it and whether she should have posted it but seemingly few people are actually addressing the sex issue except to say that no one is owed sex. I agree that no one is owed sex from someone else but I can't be overly harsh about a man desiring sex with his wife (or vice versa) and being dismayed when repeatedly rejected. I love the sex life I have and feel fortunate that our libidos match pretty well. To think about the plight of being with someone who isn't interested in sex makes me both break out in a cold sweat and want to give offerings to all deities whose province is sexuality. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of being in a relationship with someone and not wanting sex with them. Of course I also admit to having the viewpoint that sex is an importa...

A lovely weekend was had by all even though not much happened. We did go to an event on Saturday night which was fun for the nearly 2 hrs we could take hanging out. Funny that although I sometimes crave getting out and being social I don't actually need to talk to anyone, I just like being out of the house for a bit. I was allowed to do some shopping! I got a new purse which is considerably smaller than the old one and just barely fits all my junk which is to me absolutely perfect. I dislike carrying a purse but so easily fall into the trap of filling it so bigger is not better. I had something on my mind that I wanted to write about last night but of course it's fled. I can't even tell if I was dreaming when the idea came to me or not. I realized I'd been asleep around 2:30 am when I abruptly woke up trying to get away from the cat sized spider in my dream. Dreams have been seriously vivid lately. Even when I sleep a lot it doesn't feel like I got any rest b/c ...

It's sometimes frightening to think about how lives can be affected by things which people have little to no understanding about. I was reading a genetics site the other day and there was a section for questions about the inheritability of eye color, hair color, handedness and various other things. The amount of people who didn't even grasp the simplified basics of hair & eye color was scary to me and goodness knows the blood typing was a big issue too. I've actually known people who had these things break up families and cause suspicion and strife b/c they don't know how two dark haired people ended up with a blond child, or someone with type B had a baby that was an O. I guess I assumed that this part of genetics was fairly well understood in at least the simplified terms using mendels squares. I learned it in high school and am always a bit baffled when I encounter people who don't seem to have been exposed to it at all. Considering the possible consequence...

Messing around with my camera today trying to see how long my hair has gotten I managed a nearly full body side shot of myself. Seriously how did I not know that I am very swaybacked. I knew my back had some curve but dang it was more pronounced than I thought and I was standing up straight. I'm thinking about trimming those odd extra long dreads that are out of sync with the rest of my hair. Lately my hair has been everywhere, wrapped around my head when I wake up, I'm constantly rolling over and pulling it while laying down and Das is forever pinning it under him thus trapping me while he sleeps. When I try to eat woe be unto me if I forget a hair tie, guaranteed food in my hair and even trying to read has become more interesting as whenever I lean down it covers both my eyes and the book. What tripped me out most was that it's not longer. I didn't think I would have all these issues until it was way longer. I am still holding to my goal of waist length thoug...

A friend of mine posted about a bad experience in a computer store and of course many of her friends chimed in with support. One comment sat wrong with me though, it was "I was looking for something and although I was wearing an IBM shirt they treated me like I was some hip hop gangster." It just reeks of respectability politics. So had he been wearing hip hop clothes would it have been ok for them to give him bad service? Does he believe that those black people who don't present in a button down professional manner deserve to be treated badly? I realize it's as much of a class issue as a race one but either way it irritates me.

In a conversation with a friend recently she presented the idea that women who expect men to stop when they say stop in a sexually charged situation are not very intelligent. When I pointed out that I myself have been in a couple situations like that and the man's response was to stop and we bemoaned the sucky timing/circumstances then laughed got dressed and continued on enjoying our time together in ways that didn't include sex. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me but she told me I was lucky. What I don't get is if I was lucky why aren't women in similar situations but with men who make the choice to not stop at her request simply unlucky instead of being idiots who should according to her bear responsibility in their assaults? I find it disturbing that people actually believe that to expect decency from people is idiotic. I also find it sad how many people buy into the idea that men are lust crazed out of control of themselves and can't be expected to be hel...

Yesterday was one of those run around like a chicken with their head cut off days. The upside is I got everything I needed to get done done. Das has to be the most patient man alive since he spent two days straight running me to government offices where the order of the day was "hurry up and wait" and he stayed. I now have paperwork proving that I am indeed me and in 5 -7 days will have a shiny new driver's license. By late afternoon I fell into bed and didn't stir until this morning for the most part. I've been loving the bday gift he got me for his birthday, a kindle paper-something or other, lol. It's a nice size and easy to read obviously since I've already worked my way through two books on it and I'm in the middle of the third while I've only had it since Thursday. :) I think now I can hold the title of most spoiled girl in the world. I'm the proud owner of a new itsy bitsy teeny weenie bikini but not in yellow polkadots. It does have...

I pulled up a picture of Das from his 40th bday party and while I was looking at it it occurred to me that he doesn't look any older. His hairstyles make more of a difference in his looks than aging does. Funny how that works. I am partial to him with bangs even though I know they really aren't the thing. Monday night there was an encounter that truly belonged in the awkward files. A man I know in passing intruded on a conversation that Das and I were having with a friend and proceeded to tell me that I had lost weight and looked great. He couldn't just drop it at that though, he went on and on about how I looked like I'd lost a whole person and wanted me to twirl for him. Seriously? In what world is telling someone, particularly a woman that they look great since hey they lost an entire person's worth of weight a good idea? I didn't snap at him but my face gave away my annoyance which he took with poor grace immediately getting defensive and telling me he was...

I was thinking yesterday about active dominance. I've heard lots of people talk about the need to feel their master's dominance at least occasionally and it's often described as being achieved via rituals and such. It came to my mind yesterday b/c although we aren't much for protocols, rituals or much play for doses of dominance I'm always finding myself getting coffee, fetching socks, running upstairs for odds and ends, biting my tongue when a not so sweet reply is just teetering on it's tip. That's the kind of thing that makes up everyday life. There was a time when I would describe him as laid back but I'm starting to reassess since while he doesn't often demand lots of pomp and circumstance I never go through a day without feeling his control. Maybe it's b/c he has no problems with interrupting my pastimes when he wants my attention without regard to the fact that I might be at a pivotal point in a story or listening to stand up or on the p...

I just happened upon a thread on fet that asked the question are there any happy sexually active married couples out there anymore? I was rather surprised at the answers honestly. One would think on a kink site particularly the odds that people would be more sexually active than average but from several answers that doesn't seem to be the case. It wasn't just the people not involved with someone either. Now I will admit to not spending much time as a single person so I can't speak to that with any authority but as someone who has been in long term relationships lack of sex has never been the issue. I like sex, my partners like sex and I don't see why that should or would change. Sure life happens but you adjust and make time and space for what you deem important. Maybe that's the thing, other people don't find sex to be important or at least not very high on the scale of importance at any rate.  Shrugs, it probably works fine when everyone is on the same page ...

I had a dr appt. this morning and they checked my height, I was measured at a whopping 5' 3 1/4". Now this would be unremarkable if it weren't for the fact that my height gets measured differently depending on my hairstyle/length and I told the nurse ahead of time that my hair tends to skew my height upward.In her defense she smooshed the measuring thingy down but then she let it spring back up before having me move and did not at all compensate for it. Seriously am I destined to never get consistent readings? When I told Das about it he chalked it up to "Black girl problems" :)  I've decided to stick with 5' 2 1/2" since that was my consistant height whenever my hair was boy - short. Whenever it gets above an inch I get told I am anything between 5' 3 1/2" to 5'5" sometimes in the same week so I think it's safe to assume I haven't actually grown and shrunk. Particularly not multiple times. My driver's license has 5'...

I don't quite get the idea behind a slave questioning other masters for not mastering in the way her master does in a specific area. Isn't one of the big things in being a master that one gets to do things his way? If he were do to things the way that some other master told him it had to be done then well is he really mastering? Just because it happens to be a subject someone honestly and fervently feels should be handled in a specific way to be be beneficial for the slave and to show just who is running things doesn't automatically translate into her way being the best and therefore only way that anyone and everyone should be doing it. The idea that someone could disagree doesn't mean that they are in denial, it means they are in fact following the path laid out by their master, exactly what a slave should do. And what about those master who aren't getting on board with the obviously superior methods of her masterly master? Well they too are masters and more impo...

We were having an interesting discussion today about ethics, responsibility and drinking. Das shared an article with me about a female bar patron in Spain I believe who performed a sex act with 24 different men within the bar for the chance to win a holiday. Upon winning she was presented with a drink named holiday. There has been some uproar about the morals of the woman involved, the ethics of the bar allowing the competition since the participants were known to have been drinking heavily for hours beforehand and some are even outright referring to it as rape. What I haven't seen explicitly question although it was alluded to is whether the bar sponsoring the competition is guilty of fraud. Now I will say up front that I don't think it was a good idea to participate in this thing. In mind mind there are just too many things that could go wrong. That said I have no objection to willing adults participating in things that I wouldn't. public drinking and sex games includ...

Today has been a very productive day. I got about 4 loads of laundry put away which would have taken nearly as long if it weren't for those pesky socks that needed pairing. I also brought order to our bedroom and sorted my dresses in what can still be worn and when did that become too large, piles. After all that hard work a nice drive was of course called for. Somehow in the 5 minutes I spent outside every mosquito in town did a fly by on my extra yummy self. I itch like mad. Summer used to be my favorite season. Oppsie I went and forgot I had started writing a post yesterday, oh well I'll just write more today... Das set up a workspace behind the couch, it's neat having him working away while I sit here pretending to do something productive while in reality I'm probably reading FB pages or a novel. Sometimes I am getting business taken care of but a body can only handle so much of that. I have a very high fun to business ratio to maintain. Tomorrow is a holiday...

I found a gryphon pendant to wear on my collar. I think it will be so pretty. I leave the bidding and such to Das because ebay confuses me, I told him I wanted one and he did a search and let me pick the one I liked best, well second best since the one with the diamond in the mouth wasn't a viable option, lol. We both really liked that one though, we have expensive taste. Anyway I guess at the end of the week I'll know if he won it or if we need to look for a different one. I can barely take the tension, lol. I think I'd be terrible at an actual action. I'd be the one waving my fan around like a loon caught up in the frenzy of competing for a bauble and ending up spending crazy amounts for something that is only worth a third of what I end up paying. Finally got the correct paperwork for changing my birth certificate. they certainly had it hidden well enough. Sent it off today so hopefully in a few weeks I will have a shiny new copy of it with my proper name. I think ...