Understanding

In your relationship would you rather understand or be understood?

Between the two I would have to say I would rather be understood. Learning and understanding things is important to me but not as important as the connection that comes with being understood or known as a person.

With Das sometimes he says or does something that I am positive means the man has no understanding of me whatsoever so sooner or later I give him the information he needs to know me in whatever way I think is lacking.  On occasion it has made him change his mind about a course of action but most of the time he simply files it away and moves onward with the previously made decision.

Separating being understood, and being agreed with took a long time for me to get.  Understanding my feelings, my ideas, my position on something didn’t mean he would automatically fall in with it himself.  Learning to accept that he could understand me quite well and not agree with me was hard; it’s still hard sometimes.  But for all that I struggle I’m glad he’s that way because I’m fairly volatile and the last thing I need is to be with someone who gets sucked into my every feeling or idea.

The value of is that the more he knows me the better job he does discerning what I need. Needs vs wants is an ongoing conversation around here and knowing that he knows me so well that he can often articulate my feelings better than I can helps me relax into my place. I want to understand him, I need him to understand me.