Adventures in Emmieland

I keep seeing memes and posts saying "love wins" about the supreme court decision and of course me being me I'm like "what's love got to do with it?"  Love is but one reason people get married but it's not the only reason. I'm not so sure the judges were sitting there talking about love, they were talking about the law.  I don't even really know why I am so prickly about it, I'm all for marriage to be legalized for consenting adults but it seems weird to me to couch it only or even mostly in terms of people should be allowed to b/c love. Probably has something to do with my views on the legitimacy of marriage for reasons other than love. Kinda funny to me that I, miss lover of romance novels, would be sucking all the romance out of the ruling.

I'm pretty sure I overdid it this past week.  E left this afternoon and when we got home we both collapsed. I've been in bed ever since but annoyingly haven't been able to sleep. After coming in from the pride streetfair friday night I fell into bed and zonked out right away. It doesn't seem right that I only get one good night of sleep before the evil insomnia has me back in it's grasp. It was a good week though, I had fun both running around town and chilling at home. Ugg I have so much stuff floating around in my head but I'm too tired to make anything comprehensible out of any of it. Isn't that always the way?

So I was minding my own business yesterday afternoon when I got picked up by spider-man.  :)

The weekend was a blast, music festivals, brunch with the most decadent french toast ever (I even ate it all!) Shopping, walking downtown and going to the lake shore. Today has been nice and chill thankfully. 

The dressers are finally coming together, well one of them is anyway. I acquired a rechargeable drill with screwdriver bits which has made the hole drilling a lot easier. My arm doesn't hurt nearly as much today. In other news E has arrived! we're plotting fun stuff for his stay along with plenty of down time.  I think it's going to be an interesting week. I might be able to rope him into helping me put that damned bed together too.  ;)  Last night we tried to get a McLobster but they were out, he's determined to get one before he leaves so he has bragging rights in TX saying he had lobster at Mcdonalds. So far we've introduced him to Canadian Tire and shown him the skyline but after a rest we are heading out to Chinatown.

Das and I have been talking about reductionism, well he's been talking mostly I've been listening. Today for some odd reason I started thinking about serial killers. No reason why other than my head goes strange places. I've heard it said several times that most (nearly all) serial killers in the US are white males. When it's been black people stating that statistic it's sometimes said with an attitude of superiority like "hey we have our issues but at least we're not serial killers". I starting thinking about why that is both why that is a true statistic and why it's cited in that manner and I came back to people's penchant for reduction. Why are most serial killers white males? Could it be the fact that minority murder suspects tend to be invested more harshly up front therefore cutting into the ability of someone to amass multiple victims in a way that a white male would? Could it be that women being smaller and not as strong as men in gen...

A friend and I talked a lot yesterday about the controversy surrounding   Rachel Dolezal with her family saying she is a white woman vs her living as a black woman. There have been jokes galore but I haven't really seen much seriously asking why she might have done such a thing assuming that it's true.   One thing that got me thinking about it in a non negative way were news reports I saw mentioning of her full scholarship to Howard being tied to her being black which made me confused because Howard is a historically black university and as such it's highly unlikely that they they are awarding minority scholarships to black people, that's not the way that works. I'm not saying she didn't get a scholarship or go to Howard just that the wedding of those things is disingenuous but that's often the way news is  all too often reported.  Looking over her history she seems to be married to a black man (currently or formerly I wasn...

I saw an article today on vikings and red hair. Apparently you can basically trace the viking trade routes by the bunches of red heads in various areas which is pretty funny. It made me think about red haired black people, African people really since I didn't see any info about them at all. From the lack of mention in that article I'll assume that no one thinks the vikings are responsible for african tribes that sport red hair but then the question is what or who is? So i went to my friend google and looked it up. The only things I could find were articles and studies that concluded that red hair in african people is soley the result of a type of albinism. Not like red hair in europeans which is a result of recessive genes. Now this makes me wonder a bit if they only saw albinism b/c that was all they looked for? I mean there are many people who will tell you that black people don't have red hair or only have it if they are mixed race in some way. So with that kind of...

A question about life getting in the way of the needs of the dynamic made me tilt my head to the side and go "huh?"  I'm pretty sure my confusion stems from the inability to separate our dynamic from our lives therefore I lack understanding of what type of life event gets in the way of the needs of our dynamic.  We have a basic need and that is to maintain our proper places, how we do that is pretty flexible so nothing has come up that veers us off that path. Even on the occasions that I need to take a bit more innovative than I'm used to or frankly comfortable with we both see it as service to him so even those times aren't going against our dynamic's needs. So I wonder how others classify various life events and their effect on their dynamics. For that matter I also wonder how their dynamics are defined in the first place because even the same words when used in a different context can take on very different meanings.

If someone asked Das how much physical attraction mattered in his choice of a slave and he said "not at all" well I'd be miffed. In my mind that would translate into "she's ugly but gives good head" I'm wrong I know...

Sometimes we are doing something pretty run of the mill and in the middle of it he'll turn to me and tell me I'm his and/or touch me in a possessive way. I love those times partly because I love affection (the phrase "cuddle slut" comes to mind) but also because the very vanilla-ness of the situations somehow emphasizes our dynamic. It's pretty easy to be all slavish and masterly when you're in a dungeon or at MasT with everyone around you reinforcing it but when you're trying to find the date of milk on the bag, taking pictures in the park, or building furniture because you have no where to put your clothes, that's when you really run smack into it. Some people say it's not sexy, I disagree. I find it sexy as all get out although there isn't anything overtly sexual happening. Just the declaration makes me all tingly. It also feels comfortable the way a favorite well worn t-shirt feels. You know it's yours it's shaped like you, it s...

I seem to have lots of thoughts on everything in those few moments between full sleep and lessening wakefulness. Too bad most of the time by morning I no longer know what was pressing so hard on my mind. Last night I was thinking about all those sweet things mates do for each other. I was craving cake yesterday so Das went out and bought me a frozen chocolate cake and on top of that he got me frozen sliced strawberries which made me gleeful. I had complained earlier in the week that the bag I had of frozen berries was heavy on blueberries and light on everything else. It was one of those conversations where I was pretty sure he wasn't really paying me much mind but obviously I was wrong. He heard me and fixed it. No more evil blueberries for me. The way he pays attention to me and delights in spoiling me makes me feel special. Knowing that  I can depend on him not only for sweet extras but for the everyday. To be there even when i'm cranky and to hold me when I hurt that is c...

Thinking about doms not being super human has me thinking about our situation. Most of the time Das is on top of things, making well thought out decisions and being capable of dealing with my not so sane moments with relative ease. And then there are the other times. Times when work or health or something has him so stressed out that he's simply not capable of high quality decision making that I depend on him for.  Sometimes I need to step up and figure out ideas to keep us on track in life and in those moments I've learned not to consult him before I start. We try to reduce the things that cause these episodes but they aren't entirely avoidable and I'm ok with that. While I don't relish taking the lead even for short periods it's not about what I want whether it's about what is best for us in that moment. We function for the greater good of us not just him and not just me and I'm honored that we have gotten to a place that he trusts me enough to show ...

I am laying here On the brink of exhaustion You know that place late at night that slows down your brain but also puts everything into stake relief.like a little kid I fight it not wanting sleep to overcome me yet So much to do so much to learn and yet taking those first steps is hard Hard to see how such tentative actions will bring fulfillment. But be that as it may I'm willing to risk it For he is my reward

I'm taking a seriously earned break from the evil that is my new dresser. It's evil because I'm putting it together and not generally being the handy type it's nearly overwhelming. I was stuck on page 2 for about 30 minutes trying to make sense of the picture which seemed to throw in a few steps without clarifying them.  There are 16 steps and nearly 2 hours after I started I'm on step 9. I have to admit that the directions are way clearer than others I've seen so I think I'm going to stick with buying furniture from this company. There is at least a reasonable hope that I can put the stuff together using only the included instructions. The guy who delivered it teased me about extra pieces and I nearly had a few before I figured out where they went.  The music helped a lot, if I wasn't allowed tunes for this type of grunt work we would never see the finished product. As it is I think I'm calling it a night and I'll wrap it up when I'm fresh...

Note to self, it's much windier here than it was in TX so the odds of flashing people when wearing a skirt have gone up exponentially. Wear underpants! this message brought to you by the girl who flashed everyone in the parking lot when a gust of wind three my dress up around my waist, lol.