Sometimes to slave is to take controll
Thinking about doms not being super human has me thinking about our situation. Most of the time Das is on top of things, making well thought out decisions and being capable of dealing with my not so sane moments with relative ease. And then there are the other times. Times when work or health or something has him so stressed out that he's simply not capable of high quality decision making that I depend on him for. Sometimes I need to step up and figure out ideas to keep us on track in life and in those moments I've learned not to consult him before I start.
We try to reduce the things that cause these episodes but they aren't entirely avoidable and I'm ok with that. While I don't relish taking the lead even for short periods it's not about what I want whether it's about what is best for us in that moment. We function for the greater good of us not just him and not just me and I'm honored that we have gotten to a place that he trusts me enough to show his weakness and to take care of us when he can't.
Over the years I've heard a lot about how slaves expect their masters to always be "on" and I can't imagine the huge pressure that puts on the masters. After all they too are people with good/bad days, illness, and dealing with life shit like the rest of us. I love being taken care of to a ridiculous degree and I'll not deny it but what kind of slave would I be to turn my back on my master when he is in need of rest and care. In my opinion a pretty shitty one. I love him and want to serve him for untold years but that won't happen if I insist on never taking the wheel when he needs a break. Even when I take over I do it from a place of what would he have me do? He's trained me well to always consider his view of actions whether he's hands on directing them or not. That he trusts me that much makes me supremely happy.
We try to reduce the things that cause these episodes but they aren't entirely avoidable and I'm ok with that. While I don't relish taking the lead even for short periods it's not about what I want whether it's about what is best for us in that moment. We function for the greater good of us not just him and not just me and I'm honored that we have gotten to a place that he trusts me enough to show his weakness and to take care of us when he can't.
Over the years I've heard a lot about how slaves expect their masters to always be "on" and I can't imagine the huge pressure that puts on the masters. After all they too are people with good/bad days, illness, and dealing with life shit like the rest of us. I love being taken care of to a ridiculous degree and I'll not deny it but what kind of slave would I be to turn my back on my master when he is in need of rest and care. In my opinion a pretty shitty one. I love him and want to serve him for untold years but that won't happen if I insist on never taking the wheel when he needs a break. Even when I take over I do it from a place of what would he have me do? He's trained me well to always consider his view of actions whether he's hands on directing them or not. That he trusts me that much makes me supremely happy.
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