Asking for what I want and sometimes getting it

I just read a post over on Fet "Ask for what you want" man that is so much easier said than done. The poster made a very good point and it's one I need reminding of often.  Somewhere along the way I came up with the "if they don't offer it to me then I don't want it b/c they obviously don't want to give it" It took ages (decades) for me to realize that I was not only not giving myself the opportunity to get what I wanted I was also selling my people short while also expecting them to have super powers. They should just know, b/c people are great mind readers and all.

I know I came to this way of thinking due to a childhood of asking and being not only told no, but told no in the most biting ways possible. And being told no on some pretty basics that really I shouldn't even have had to ask for. I don't feel bad for coming up with a coping mechanism as it served me. The problem is that I held on to it well after it was no longer serving me. Unlearning early lessons is not easy but it is rewarding.

When Das and I got together he pushed me to ask for things and I had a hard time with it. It was even harder when I managed to bring myself to ask for something that he said no on. Every time I'd swear I'd never ask him for anything else ever but I did and sometimes he said yes. It was the yes that kept me in the game honestly. Now I ask for a lot more of what I want but I still fall into the habit of not asking but just mentioning something I want while hoping he reads between the lines. Although he has gotten very good at both reading between the lines and anticipating things I might want I have to remind myself that it's not fair to expect this of him. It was a timely read and I'm glad I followed my friend's breadcrumbs.