Adventures in Emmieland

Being sick is not how I intended to spend my weekend and yet here I am ensconced on the loveseat pumped full of drugs and tea w/honey. I had just enough wherewithal to get through errands on friday morning/afternoon before collapsing in the evening and only resurfacing long enough to take the next set of medications. I'm not a particularly whiney patient (in my estimation) but I must be looking pretty awful for Das to look at me and not tell me to stop whinging when I do start sniffling and a bit of a whiney creeps into my voice.  Hopefully another few days of pushing fluids and loads of rest and I will be as good as new. I think we caught it in time before it got out of hand this time. I'm prone to sinus infections so keeping the congestion down is of utmost importance so that I don't end up with a secondary infection. Das has been reminding me to eat and tonight he made a yummy ground pork/chicken combo burger with lots of onion and cilantro on an onion roll. If only I ...

Last night we went to a coffee tasting. Now let it be known that I categorically do not like the taste of coffee but Das does so there you have it.  I drank tiny cup after tiny cup of heavily creamed/sugared coffee trying to discern roundness, smokey aftertones, citrus hints and whatnot. One cup tasted woodsie to me but that was about all I got and no one else knew what I was talking about so I'm going to have to say that my skills as a coffee taster are sorely lacking. It was a fun event though, lots of laughing and chatting about all types of stuff. In fact one might have suspected the coffee had been spiked with something alcoholic if one was simply observing the flushed cheeks and cheery demeanor of the participants. I got the opposite of buzzed though. Each cup brought me closer to falling over in my chair. By the time we left which really wasn't very late at all, I could barely be upright. I walked into the house, accompanied Das out for a smoke, hit the bathroom and th...

I read a post recently where someone was espousing the joys of s&m without sex. For them they specifically said it wasn't about the sex. I find this interesting. For me I can't separate s&m activities from sex, it is actually if not all then lots about the sex. I get intrigued by the experiences of other people, I love to read their posts and blogs, talk to them about their lives and relationships, and observe them. Sometimes I glean something that I think could be incorporated into my own life but often while I am appreciative of their ways and thoughts and especially of their willingness to share them, I end up having my own way of doing things clarified as the right way for me. Funny how that happens. I overlap with people I know, some very little some quite a bit, it depends on which area is being focused on. I love the diversity as much as I love the conformity being able to see and even in a limited way experience different things is exciting to me.  I am grat...

Talking to Das earlier I was relaying the reaction of someone I knew to some information about how I live with him. She was taken aback which is not an unusual reaction. Intense is a word that gets dropped regularly. He and I were in agreement that from where we stand it makes no sense because it doesn't seem particularly noteworthy, it is what it is. On the one hand I don't want to invite scrutiny into our dynamic by being vocal about it but on the other hand I don't want to allow my silence to serve as tacit agreement with the views of ways to do things that we don't agree with. I think a reminder that there are different ways to do things and some of them don't give more than a passing glance to SSC as we go riding by it at 60mph, is a good thing.  I guess it's the old push pull of not caring so much what people care about me as long as they leave me alone but knowing that if I don't say something it's inevitable that they will be trying to moderate...

I am a very spoiled girl. There a all kinds of fun things on the way for me since Das enjoys online shopping and he likes buying me all types of baubles but lest I forget my place upon opening my email this morning and saw an email which included tracking info for a braided flogger. sigh. Reality check so early in the day, lol. When I looked at him rather beseechingly about such an abrupt way to be brought back to earth I swear he cackled!  The man is evil I swear.  Oh well now might be a good time to ask for more body oil, lol. Flogging is no excuse for getting leatherbutt after all.  ;) Tonight is going to be fun, we are having drinks and dessert with friends. A quiet enjoyable evening which will be really nice against the backdrop of all the rain we've had today.  The never ending question is of course...what do I wear? They are pretty casual so no need to over do. I'm thinking leggings and a light sweater. Since it's not 100 degrees today I of course feel like ...

I had an amazing experience last night. I was learning a meditation and while doing it I was so involved in the joyousness of it that everything around me melted away. Even though I was later told that I didn't actually move very much I felt as if I was undulating with wild abandon and within myself there was loads of power.  What I found coolest though was the fact that I wasn't alone, inside the meditation world there were other women all happy and dancing and singing and loving. I'm not sure how to say it without making it sound as if I were hallucinating, hmm maybe I was but if so it was really pleasant. :)  Curious though how one can hear colors and experience singing when there is no sound...

I just realized that Das told me he had to go out the other day and didn't tell me where he was going, I didn't ask. I wondered a bit since most times I go with him everywhere but eh whatever. When he got back he told me where he'd been and what he'd been up to which revealed that he'd made a decision and acted on a decision a few days prior to that which he also hadn't told me.  I asked him why he hadn't told me and he said he wanted to see how things worked out before letting  me know. It was interesting to me looking back that I wasn't overly invested in it, curious but not all up in arms or wracked with anxiety.  When did that happen?

For some reasons I find myself thinking back to when we decided to formalize our desire to proceed as master and slave.  True to techno geek form this conversation took place over email and when he asked me if I was sure this is what I wanted I took a bit of time to respond because I wanted to be sure that I was sure. By a bit of time I mean about a day maybe two, lol. I sent him a resounding yes and thought it was all going to be peaches and cream but low and behold we actually had our first bump in the road and we hadn't even really started traveling yet. While I had been busy making absolutely sure I knew my own mind he had had some misgivings about the venture. He saw better than I did at the time the all encompassing nature of what we were getting into and realized the potential for disruption of our lives as we knew them. At the time we were both married, not to each other. Me to my sweetheart of a now ex and him to his first slave. When he told me he didn't think it wa...

I wonder why so often the question comes up if a master is "allowed" to do so and so. That's not a thought I often have , I pretty much assume if someone tells me they have a master then that master is allowed free range as far as whatever is permissible, what is a good idea now that's a different question altogether. I may indeed come across something and internally question the wisdom of a particular action of a random master based on whatever limited information that I have but the right of them to execute it, they are the master of course they have the right. It is becoming clearer to me that this isn't a common way of thinking even within the M/s community.  So many people use the term M/s and mean a variety of different power exchange set ups by it that range from pre negotiated and written out short term limited control contracted on line only to live in 24/7 complete control situations. that leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings since common languag...

I've been told lately that I seem more confident and happy. The word radiant has even been used a few times.  What is interesting to me is at the same time I am more isolated now than I have ever been.  My mindset has evolved so quietly that I hadn't even realized the full extent of my dependency until recently, I mean I knew I was dependent but I still held to the notion that if Das were to meet an untimely demise I would be sad but able to function on my own.  I wouldn't.  Now I am starting to understand the hoopla behind the insistence of the danger and wrongness of crating that level of dependence in a slave, understand it but not agree with it.  It's not for everyone, I am not everyone. I am me and for me it's absolutely right. It's funny some of the people asking me what the secret is to my obvious happiness wouldn't believe me if I told them.  :)

In seven years my hair has grown a lot. When I started my locs my hair was about 3 inches long and that may be a generous estimate. at the beginning of that year I had a very low cut as in you could see my scalp low. That was in February, my locs were started at the beginning of September. It amazes me just how long it has gotten. Last year's picture just to see how much it has grown in a year. the fact the insist on wearing different shirts makes it harder but that shirt is higher cut than the one I have on in the current picture.  :) 

"I don't force my kink on people" is something I hear/read often and the circumstances around it vary widely. It could be not demanding everyone you meet in every situation follow an intricate set of rituals or protocols that you'd prefer that have an obvious bdsm flavor or it could be not calling your master "sir" in a public place.  What interests me is the many ways people define what kink is and what constitutes forcing it on others.  My personal idea of kink are s&m related activities. So if I see someone walking through the mall smacking their companion with a crop then yep I'd think they were being kinky.  On the other hand if I saw someone walking through the mall completely attired in leather or latex and an obvious collar I'd wonder if they were parked very close to the entrance and hope they have excellent AC  b/c it's been over 100F all week. Seriously I would assume they were goth or at least into goth fashions or maybe in the...

I have noticed in my time in the scene a lot of slaves and submissives (of the female variety b/c I know more of them, read more of their writings, and well men aren't who I'm talking about here)  make a point of letting people friends, foes, and strangers alike that they can and will handle themselves. In fact it's often said with a nose in the air and a flip of the hair. Ok that's how I see it in my head if I'm reading it which I most often am I will admit. The haughtiness does seem to just ooze out of the very letters though.  ;)  What I just don't grasp is why. The ones that baffle me the most are not the ones currently between relationships but those who are comfortably encased in a dynamic with a master (particularly a male master, what I'm a heterosexual woman this is of special interest to me...) who from at least all outside views has no issues with being a protective hedge around his slave. Why in that case is there a need to make a marked declar...

I have read several articles that bemoan the state of today's fashion or the apparent lack thereof. There are things I agree with. Sometimes when I see someone sporting rubby ducky pj's while going about their public daily life I do raise an internal eyebrow but hey it's not my choice and choice is hugely important to me. I was raised in a family of sharp dressers. The men and women alike could be found sporting flashy accents to compliment timelessly elegant basics. I learned early the importance of presentation, how to build an outfit from the skin out and girdles were a must since I was 9 when I was informed that my behind jiggled too much.  My mom did not work outside the home but she wasn't one to be found looking anything but put together. A trip the grocery store was an event that called for stockings, a nice dress or skirt/top combination and low heels and her hair was always done.  On church days we all stepped it up several notches since apparently Jesus pre...

Last night on my FB feed I saw a thumbnail that said something to the effect of how to really twerk. I clicked on it because I love dancing and I particularly love it when done well and I have seen some beautifully executed twerking videos. Imagine my surprise when instead of dancing what occurred was some woman going into a tirade about skankiness, whores, getting guys to put a ring on it, declaring women who twerk in public undeserving of respect and describing them as self proclaimed pieces of meat as well as going on to applaud herself on doing things the right way by keeping her twerking in the bedroom between her and her husband. I have had enough of this bullshit. Most of the time when I disagree with things my friends post on their FB I just scroll past or if I find it very annoying I hide it. In a few cases I have even deleted people altogether. This though tripped a trigger in me and I made a response. Not a well thought out beautifully articulated one either I must admit. ...