To be cared for
I have noticed in my time in the scene a lot of slaves and submissives (of the female variety b/c I know more of them, read more of their writings, and well men aren't who I'm talking about here) make a point of letting people friends, foes, and strangers alike that they can and will handle themselves. In fact it's often said with a nose in the air and a flip of the hair. Ok that's how I see it in my head if I'm reading it which I most often am I will admit. The haughtiness does seem to just ooze out of the very letters though. ;) What I just don't grasp is why.
The ones that baffle me the most are not the ones currently between relationships but those who are comfortably encased in a dynamic with a master (particularly a male master, what I'm a heterosexual woman this is of special interest to me...) who from at least all outside views has no issues with being a protective hedge around his slave. Why in that case is there a need to make a marked declaration of one's self sufficiency when it need not even be used?
Personally I love the idea and the fact behind it that I don't have to worry about protecting myself. I can bounce along blissfully unaware of slights and dangers because Das is on that. If something happens to come up that needs attending to all I am required to do is bring it to his attention and go about my way. He'll deal with it. Can I deal with a variety of issues, well I suppose the very fact that I've made it to 39 without loss of limbs or incarceration speaks to the fact that I can at least do a bare minimum. It's not my strong suit though and even if it was it sure is nice to not have to depend on myself for everything. To have a man, a master who looks out for me, protects me, go to bat for me, that is something I cherish and which makes me feel good, loved, highly valued. In fact not only do I feel like I am those things I feel like I am worthy of being those things.
I used to say that my lovers knew I really loved them b/c I didn't need them, I was with them b/c I wanted to be. Oh how times have changed. I have long passed the point of simply wanting to be with Das, I need him. I need him in ways that make people gasp and talk about red flags in shrill voices. I need him in practical ways but they are only a backdrop for the ways in which I need him that people wrongly label codependent. Leaving him stopped being an option so subtly that I'm not exactly sure when it happened I just realize that it's not anymore. I don't think I fought it too hard, at least not constantly. This is one area where he was able to slip in and use it to take over others, I love and have always craved being taken care of. A man who stands up for me, who would hide me behind him while he takes on anyone who would attack me makes me putty. Without me ever telling him he knew what I wanted, what I needed and he gave it to me. So you won't hear me talking about how I can handle myself because I'll be over here basking in the glow of being taken care of while I do everything in my power to be and give him his heart's desire.
The ones that baffle me the most are not the ones currently between relationships but those who are comfortably encased in a dynamic with a master (particularly a male master, what I'm a heterosexual woman this is of special interest to me...) who from at least all outside views has no issues with being a protective hedge around his slave. Why in that case is there a need to make a marked declaration of one's self sufficiency when it need not even be used?
Personally I love the idea and the fact behind it that I don't have to worry about protecting myself. I can bounce along blissfully unaware of slights and dangers because Das is on that. If something happens to come up that needs attending to all I am required to do is bring it to his attention and go about my way. He'll deal with it. Can I deal with a variety of issues, well I suppose the very fact that I've made it to 39 without loss of limbs or incarceration speaks to the fact that I can at least do a bare minimum. It's not my strong suit though and even if it was it sure is nice to not have to depend on myself for everything. To have a man, a master who looks out for me, protects me, go to bat for me, that is something I cherish and which makes me feel good, loved, highly valued. In fact not only do I feel like I am those things I feel like I am worthy of being those things.
I used to say that my lovers knew I really loved them b/c I didn't need them, I was with them b/c I wanted to be. Oh how times have changed. I have long passed the point of simply wanting to be with Das, I need him. I need him in ways that make people gasp and talk about red flags in shrill voices. I need him in practical ways but they are only a backdrop for the ways in which I need him that people wrongly label codependent. Leaving him stopped being an option so subtly that I'm not exactly sure when it happened I just realize that it's not anymore. I don't think I fought it too hard, at least not constantly. This is one area where he was able to slip in and use it to take over others, I love and have always craved being taken care of. A man who stands up for me, who would hide me behind him while he takes on anyone who would attack me makes me putty. Without me ever telling him he knew what I wanted, what I needed and he gave it to me. So you won't hear me talking about how I can handle myself because I'll be over here basking in the glow of being taken care of while I do everything in my power to be and give him his heart's desire.
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