Having It All
I told Das today that I was going to hoard all the chocolate chip cookies. That lasted for all of a minute or less before he gave me "the look" and I handed over one of the cherished sugar laden disks of chocolatey goodness. Nothing special in our interaction just us being our usual silly selves. What I find noteworthy is that even within our silliness we don't lose our places and yet it's not something either of us make an effort to maintain, it simply is.
I wonder off and on about what people really mean when they talk about incorporating M/s into their real lives, how do you incorporate life into life? Do they have not real lives? I assume they mean public vs private lives but I'm not always sure that's it either.
Something that recently kicked off a bunch of half formed incoherent thoughts was a thread on fet in one of my favorite groups. the thread had to do with self reflection and possible mid life crisis. I was actually surprised by how many people (in this case slaves) talked about dissatisfaction with their lives and wistfulness over what could have been. That along with advice to become financially secure and get independant hobbies was surprising in this group particularly b/c it's not known for that type of thing.
I'm not so sure that I believe that everyone goes through a period of reflection that causes some level of dissatisfaction in their lives. It does seem to me though that many people don't separate the ideas of being able to say that they would have done something differently had they possessed different information at that time from being upset or unhappy or dismissive of how things turned out or with the decisions that were made.
I love my life as it is now. There are also things that I would have made different choices on in the past if I'd been in possession of more information at that time. Since I wasn't I'm content with the choices I made even though they weren't always easy or even right b/c it was everything then that got me here as me now and I'm quite fond of me. Maybe it's the fact that I have been aware for a long time that once you choose something it means you shut the door on many other things, and if you'd chosen something else you'd have shut the door on something else. No matter what you chose you can't choose everything, and that understanding makes it easy for me to not lament any of my choices. There will always be something I didn't do didn't see didn't get and that's ok. Sometimes I think the idea of "you can do/be anything" has gotten so pervasive that people don't actually sit down and think about how it simply can't be true in a realistic way.
I wonder off and on about what people really mean when they talk about incorporating M/s into their real lives, how do you incorporate life into life? Do they have not real lives? I assume they mean public vs private lives but I'm not always sure that's it either.
Something that recently kicked off a bunch of half formed incoherent thoughts was a thread on fet in one of my favorite groups. the thread had to do with self reflection and possible mid life crisis. I was actually surprised by how many people (in this case slaves) talked about dissatisfaction with their lives and wistfulness over what could have been. That along with advice to become financially secure and get independant hobbies was surprising in this group particularly b/c it's not known for that type of thing.
I'm not so sure that I believe that everyone goes through a period of reflection that causes some level of dissatisfaction in their lives. It does seem to me though that many people don't separate the ideas of being able to say that they would have done something differently had they possessed different information at that time from being upset or unhappy or dismissive of how things turned out or with the decisions that were made.
I love my life as it is now. There are also things that I would have made different choices on in the past if I'd been in possession of more information at that time. Since I wasn't I'm content with the choices I made even though they weren't always easy or even right b/c it was everything then that got me here as me now and I'm quite fond of me. Maybe it's the fact that I have been aware for a long time that once you choose something it means you shut the door on many other things, and if you'd chosen something else you'd have shut the door on something else. No matter what you chose you can't choose everything, and that understanding makes it easy for me to not lament any of my choices. There will always be something I didn't do didn't see didn't get and that's ok. Sometimes I think the idea of "you can do/be anything" has gotten so pervasive that people don't actually sit down and think about how it simply can't be true in a realistic way.
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