Sad girl
As much as I'd like to think that I handle uncomfortable situations with grace, I'd be wrong. Right not gracious doesn't come remotely close to what I'm feeling. Not speaking is probably the best thing I can do.
He went out for bread, it only took 2.5 hrs with no calls no text no IM to let me know that he was ok. The first hour I wasn't overly concerned because the growcery store might be understaffed and our houseguest is on crutches making things slower. Bt the second hour I was frantic and worrying about every single thing that could have happened. I even checked his location on the phone finding app and saw he wasn't far from home, which previously worried me more. I was worried that there had been an accident and damn it we lapsed our road side assistance coverage. Even though he wasn't terribly far it was too far to walk especially through these woods after dark. There is wildlife out there.
So I sat on the porch holding my breath every time I saw headlights hoping time after time that it was him about to pull in and time after time I was disappointed until finally just over two and a half hours later he rolls up the drive. He goes to the back and pulls out the bread. All he said as he passed me was "I went to get bread" my thoughts where along the lines of did you personally have to bake the fucking bread but all I said was for two and a half hours? Personally I think my restraint is commendable.
Come to find out it wasn't the bread getting that took so long, nope it was the stopping to get a drink because our guest had an upsetting convo so wanted to go out drinking. While this knowledge would have made me grumpy had I been in possession of it hours ago right now it makes me sad. Sad because I was such an afterthought that contacting me just to assure me he was ok never crossed his mind. Sad because once again someone else's desires has taken precedence over my comfort or happiness. Sad that thoughtfulness has been drilled into me and yet I feel completely unthought of. What does it mean that what should be a 15-30 minute trip turns into over 2 hrs with not one thought that I might be concerned at all. sigh...
He went out for bread, it only took 2.5 hrs with no calls no text no IM to let me know that he was ok. The first hour I wasn't overly concerned because the growcery store might be understaffed and our houseguest is on crutches making things slower. Bt the second hour I was frantic and worrying about every single thing that could have happened. I even checked his location on the phone finding app and saw he wasn't far from home, which previously worried me more. I was worried that there had been an accident and damn it we lapsed our road side assistance coverage. Even though he wasn't terribly far it was too far to walk especially through these woods after dark. There is wildlife out there.
So I sat on the porch holding my breath every time I saw headlights hoping time after time that it was him about to pull in and time after time I was disappointed until finally just over two and a half hours later he rolls up the drive. He goes to the back and pulls out the bread. All he said as he passed me was "I went to get bread" my thoughts where along the lines of did you personally have to bake the fucking bread but all I said was for two and a half hours? Personally I think my restraint is commendable.
Come to find out it wasn't the bread getting that took so long, nope it was the stopping to get a drink because our guest had an upsetting convo so wanted to go out drinking. While this knowledge would have made me grumpy had I been in possession of it hours ago right now it makes me sad. Sad because I was such an afterthought that contacting me just to assure me he was ok never crossed his mind. Sad because once again someone else's desires has taken precedence over my comfort or happiness. Sad that thoughtfulness has been drilled into me and yet I feel completely unthought of. What does it mean that what should be a 15-30 minute trip turns into over 2 hrs with not one thought that I might be concerned at all. sigh...
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