You Smell Good
Talking to Das about some of the crazy situations I've found myself in over the years without quite knowing how I got there made me think of a particular few months in my 20s. I was still attending church at this point but already had had a major rift with christianity. I wasn't quite ready to let go of the known yet though so we were attending a new church and that's where it all got weird...
Within a few months I was called into the pastor's office and he let me know that he kept hearing my name bandied about the men of the congregation. Mind you I hadn't done anything with any of those men and apparently that was the problem. They were trying to push up on me and it was causing some issues since 1. I was married and 2. they were married (one guy was single but I swear up until that moment I thought he was gay) By not giving them the time of day they were becoming a bit preoccupied and people were starting to notice, their wives included. He told me I was distracting them and tried to ask me to tone down something but even he couldn't pin down exactly what b/c I was a modest dresser and I didn't spend any inappropriate time with any of them. I barely paid them any attention at all to be honest and had assumed the dealings I had with them were simply regular friendliness. And yet somehow I'd found myself in the middle of a near scandal just by being me.
I couldn't deal with the stress and stopped going to this church shortly afterwards. I still don't get it because that wasn't the first or last time I managed to get tangled up in some odd multi man drama that I had no idea was going on. I'm cute but I'm not breathtakingly beautiful so why this happens has been a mystery to me. Das pointed out that there is more than one reason he keeps me on a short leash. He swears I reek of sex all the time so maybe it's a scent thing. Whatever it is while I can look back and laugh at this stuff now I remember how frustrating and scary it was then. I never felt safe. Now that isn't an issue and I am so very grateful.
Within a few months I was called into the pastor's office and he let me know that he kept hearing my name bandied about the men of the congregation. Mind you I hadn't done anything with any of those men and apparently that was the problem. They were trying to push up on me and it was causing some issues since 1. I was married and 2. they were married (one guy was single but I swear up until that moment I thought he was gay) By not giving them the time of day they were becoming a bit preoccupied and people were starting to notice, their wives included. He told me I was distracting them and tried to ask me to tone down something but even he couldn't pin down exactly what b/c I was a modest dresser and I didn't spend any inappropriate time with any of them. I barely paid them any attention at all to be honest and had assumed the dealings I had with them were simply regular friendliness. And yet somehow I'd found myself in the middle of a near scandal just by being me.
I couldn't deal with the stress and stopped going to this church shortly afterwards. I still don't get it because that wasn't the first or last time I managed to get tangled up in some odd multi man drama that I had no idea was going on. I'm cute but I'm not breathtakingly beautiful so why this happens has been a mystery to me. Das pointed out that there is more than one reason he keeps me on a short leash. He swears I reek of sex all the time so maybe it's a scent thing. Whatever it is while I can look back and laugh at this stuff now I remember how frustrating and scary it was then. I never felt safe. Now that isn't an issue and I am so very grateful.
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