Adventures in Emmieland

Last night in the couple of blocks between where we parked and the venue we walked through a group of black men who had the look of men up for a bit of mischief. Das was wearing all black and I was wearing red leggings, black ankle boots, black miniskirt, and a coat covering my black tank top.  As usual I was about half a step behind him because he walks faster than me even though he never looks like he's going very fast.  As we move closer to the group they part giving us room on the sidewalk and one brave soul pipes up "Hey brother that's one fine black woman you got there" Das smiled said "I know" and kept walking. He tried to further engage Das but when Das  replied "I'm in a hurry man"   the dude backed down, literally with his hands up, lol. Over the years I have encountered many groups of black men similar in flavor the the one we ran into last night while with a white male companion either romantic or platonic but never have I had tha...

Just got in from modeling in a fashion show for charity which was a rousing success. I had my picture taken numerous times by strangers with large complicated looking cameras which I think is a good thing and bodes well for the designer whose fashions I was wearing. Somehow I ended up being the first one to go onstage, I was nervous but by all accounts I did not embarrass myself.  :) Now I am immensely tired but I wanted to pst the only picture I have so far, one Das took a few minutes ago to memorialize the amazing make-up job that was done on me.

Hair is so funny and looking over my teen pictures I realized I actually did have one that clearly shows the extend of hair shrinkage I experience. Some people have broken it all down with percentages and whatnot but I have no idea all I know is that when my hair gets wet in it's natural state it looks very very short. The hours it takes to untangle and straighten it are what led me to first keeping it cut very low after I stopped relaxing it and then getting dreds when I decided to grow it out.  exhibit A: My hair is the same length and worn loose in both pictures,  the main difference being in the picture at the beach I had been in the water. The picture on the right was taken at some point after I'd pressed my hair but on a different day. This effect is why so many black girls are constantly at war with any hint of humidity and cursing rain. I have a lot of memories of having my hair pressed in the mornings only to have it revert by afternoon due to profuse sweating ...

Every day this week I've woken up and bounced out of bed under the assumption that it is somewhere in the vicinity of 6 am. I have been wrong every damned day. I haven't gotten up later than 3:30am yet. Today it was 2:30am. Not sure just what hijinks my body is up to this time but strangely enough I'm not butt dragging tired until around 7/8pm so no big deal. Well it won't be until Friday night anyway, I have shit to do Friday and need to be up late so my body needs to get its act together. Whatever is a girl to do at the ridiculous hour of the morning hmm. I'm thinking learning to actually use some of my photo editing software is not a bad idea. :) youtube tutorials here i come!

" A Babygirl is someone who relates to girly ways. You may like being treated like a princess, being dressed up, or it could be as simple as a feeling you get when alone with Daddy. It's all in how you feel and it has nothing to do with a specific age. A Babygirl can be 18 to 100, and they may or may not have an interest in things like coloring and stuffies . "  I found the above definition in a fet group for babygirls (Babygirl Beginners) and of the definitions I've seen that is the one that resonates most with me. I've tried before to explain why I refer to myself as a babygirl but I'm never sure if it comes across clearly.  Below is something I said in a recent conversation about being a slave and a babygirl.  "  I identify as both a babygirl and a slave not because I am a little, I'm not, but because my general personality is rather childlike and with Das that is amplified. I started calling Das daddy early into our first year together. H...

I came across an article on XOJane that referenced another article that scrutinized the harmful effects of selfies. I will admit that I did not read the original article because really who has time for that? Ok technically I have time just no interest. Anyway I think the idea that selfies are inherently horrible is silly, this could be bias talking since I am vain and pretty quick to snap my own picture but seriously what harm is it in doing so. I enjoy documenting different looks and expressions and it's fun to share them with my friends on social media. I do try to mediate what I put on FB since I'm pretty sure everyone on my friends list doesn't want a non stop stream of pictures of me but I have no qualms about posting pics of my cuteness on instagram. If you are following me on instagram my assumption is that you want to see pictures of me and/or things I find interesting since the whole point of instagram is to share pictures. So if people really don't want to see...

In light of my babygirl post and because I'm finally feeling lots better and like having my picture taken :) I asked Das to take a picture of me today. What I am wearing is a pretty average day to day styel for me including the pigtails, lol. I do wear my hair down most of the time but pigtails are the second most worn style. I think "youthful" is the best term for my go to look. I do wish he would tell me when my clothes are crooked before taking the picture though, lol.

I can't even... a friend of mine sent me a link on fet in a passing conversation about marriage and M/s and wow I think I need to scrub my brain now. The title tipped me off but the contents just horrified me. The post was entitled "The Ring on My Finger Trumps the Collar on Her Neck" and was written by the M-type in the relationship. He described all the chores and childcare he did and how even though she was collared to him that didn't mean anything compared to her being his wife and she had plenty of time to submit to him at night in bed for an hour or so after everything was done. Umm no just no. I'm not actually objecting to him doing things in his house, whatever he's the boss of his house and if he decides it runs better with him doing some stuff then that's his prerogative. What I object to is the magical wedding ring. It seems to have inherent properties that allow it to dictate how he will run the household no matter what. Not only does it dict...

I was reorganizing my itunes playlists this afternoon and came across the number 1 hits of destiny's child. I didn't even know I had that so I decided to listen to one song because I didn't recognize it from the title, Cater to You. I loved it! it was all about serving and appreciating her man in a way that is so familiar to me that I wonder about the nature of Bey and Jay-Z's relationship. :) I love pop music and it's so much fun for me when I find something in that genre that expresses something meaningful to me. Most of the time I'm enjoying it for the danceability and bounciness but the occasional depths are nice.  I especially liked this part : I wanna give my breath My strength, my will to you Thats the least I can do Let me cater to you It's rather rare in a pop song that you see references to giving over your will to someone especially a woman to a man in this day in age.  The fact that this was on their number 1 compilation makes me grin. I k...

I participated in the oddest conversation on a website that caters to submissive women & dominant men. Someone asked about the feasibility of combining slavery with D/bg and if anyone had done it with success. Although the thread was a few days old I decided to chime in as that is how we identify and it's been working well for us. I explained why I felt like a baby girl including the fact that I do not identify as a little, in fact it was probably the best I have ever articulated what baby girlness feels like for me. Like most things I don't expect that everyone has the same experiences or even labels the same ones in the same way but I was still a bit surprised at the vehemence in arguing not against just the idea of babygirl slaves but against the naming of my own experience in a way that resonated with me. Disagreements in ideology aren't a huge deal to me even if I'm convinced that the people disagreeing with me are obviously wrong. Disagreeing with someone...

Yesterday Das was talking to a friend of his from Canada, an ex girlfriend actually. They've known each other since they started dating at 19 and through their 7 yr relationship and now almost 20 yrs of friendship they have never stopped loving each other.  Even though I've always known this I was still taken a bit by surprise when he told her he loved her.  I envy their relationship, they haven't seen each other in years or even talked on the phone but once they did it was as if no time had passed for them. They fell right into their personal rhythm of comfort with each other. I saw the same thing when another friend of his came to town and met us for coffee a few years back. If I hadn't known that they hadn't been hanging out in years then I would have sworn that day was just one of many coffee dates they had weekly at a minimum they were so relaxed and in sync.  There wasn't even that generally anticipated awkward first 5 minutes that usually occur when you h...

I love reading hair posts, blogs, articles... pretty much anything to do with hair and if it's loc specific all the better. What I keep coming across that continues to confuse me to no end is the amazing amount of energy people seem to be putting into making locs neat. To me neat locs is an oxymoron, locs are by definition the antithesis of neat. I guess the mindset that draws people to locs and yet seeks to tame them will remain a mystery to me. Of course it probably doesn't help that I am not enamored of neatness for neatness sake especially when it comes to my hair or personal style.  Untethered, wild, unencumbered, unrestrained, free flowing, expressive, expansive... those things I find personally highly valuable. Different strokes I guess.  

I read a blog pretty regularly that covers a lot of topics but the mainstay is family/parenting and religious upbringing. One of the things that draws me to it is the background of the blogger which is similar to my own and reading how she has navigated through leaving that brand of christianity and managed to maintain a relationship with her parents interests me. Really relationships of all kinds interest me, I'm intensely nosey and intrigued by people which is one reason I love blogs,  being allowed into other people's lives is good stuff. Anyway in a recent post she discussed how she is no longer angry with her parents for the way they treated her when she first left home and began to express differing opinions from theirs. She is wistful for the lost closeness and sad and even hopeful for the future. Something I found interesting was in the comments people over and over talked about how important it was that her children and children in general be allowed contact with gra...

It's funny how once you make a decision things start to arange themselves in a way that supports it. This weekend we realized we had to make some long term decisions and today we've had a couple of things happen that just last week we would have said no way in hell would they even be options. Change is in the works around here, not making it all public just yet but looking forward to it.

I just read a little post on soulmates and it was cute and I actually agreed with parts of it like the notion that relationships shouldn't be hard and the idea that you have to suffer for love is nuts. What irked me though is this "so skip the supermodel. The pursuit of your own personal Jessica Alba or David Beckham." Now while I don't think going after someone you think looks like a supermodel as the top quality is the best basis for a relationship I don't see why it has to be thrown out altogether. The way it's thrown in the essay it sounds like the author is saying that anyone's real potential soulmate is going to be plain to ugly by default. I call shenanigans. Hot people don't make bad mates on the basis of being hot. To say otherwise is insulting and discriminatory not to mention shows not only shallowness but an unattractive insecurity on the author's part. Your soul mate doesn't have to be a supermodel but why can't they be? If y...

Woke up early today with a full busy brain. This doesn't bode well for the calm day I was hoping to have.  Spent the last few days trying to figure out what is the best for everyone (including me!) with regards to kid custody and once I presented my conclusions to the ex I was met with a lot of radio silence. I can only hope he sees where I am coming from and that things can move ahead smoothly. I guess we shall see... Not much going on on the homefront, we are still here albeit quiet. Black tea is delicious but green tea is evil, this is my conclusion after many weeks of dedicated tea drinking. Das gives me a lot of flack for drinking herbal tea so I decided to branch out into black tea and green tea. The black teas are so yummy I think they will become a staple.  One good thing about drinking so much tea is that I am very well hydrated and I think that has been helping my congestion. I'm feeling lots better now just trying to shake the remaining congestion so that I can ge...

I have often heard slaves say that submitting in the bedroom was easy for them but the real life stuff posed greater difficulty.  I always want to engage further on these remarks because I'm not sure I quite get them. what is the real world and what in the bedroom does one submit to? I don't like being on top in a literal sense, during sex because I start thinking about how my boobs look, and losing my rhythm, and my thighs hurt, and I make silly faces...  Him on top is greatly preferred from my point of view but I'm not so sure that is a submissive thing as much as it is a function of me being easily distractible and self conscience. When he's leading I don't have time for all that, I'm too busy keeping up and focusing on his direction to be sidetracked by my own neurosis. Real life is everything to me, no part of my life is not real. Maybe I'm thinking about it the wrong way but I personally have found many things infinitely easier than sexual submission...

It's official children are evil. I spent a couple of hours in the company of a friend and her young children a couple of days ago and I have come down with the plague.  One day I will have an immune system that works but apparently today is not that day, lol. Luckily I still have cold medicine left over from my last two bouts of plague (one of which was also brought on by contact with children, just saying) so hopefully I will be more comfortable shortly. Nothing to be done but to wait it out and drinks loads of tea.

Last night was great! We attended the Way Gay Sing Along at a local movie theatre which was a load of fun. Lots of singing and dancing, I even convinced Das to dance with me to  Pink & Brittany Spears. Afterwards we went with some friends to a gay bar that we hadn't been to in a while. It used to be something of a dive but they've remodeled it nicely.  The men had cigars and I sipped a drink for a couple of hours while alternately listening to the music and listening to the conversation going on around me. When we finally called it a night and trudged home I was wiped. Yet somehow we ended up talking for another hour or so before finally laying down. I don't think I have had that much fun in a while just hanging out being silly. It felt good and was long overdue.

We were talking about insecurity, ego, & intimidation in relation to being with each other. Of course I fess up to moments of insecurity not in the getting together funnily enough but after I'd gotten to know a bit about his exes. They were all quite extraordinary and there have been times that I've wondered how someone who was attracted to them could also be interested in me. Luckily I've never had a huge issue with my ego so it wasn't an ongoing issue. Das has always been secure in my affections and in deserving them. I do envy that kind of confidence and wonder what it must be like to never second guess why you've been chosen as someone's lover.  Some people have all the luck.

I woke up rather abruptly just after midnight, threw on my robe and made a beeline for the garage where I was pretty certain I would find Das. He asked me why I was up and I told him, I'd been awaken by a weird dream. He prodded me to describe the dream so I did, I'd just dreamed of an exploding rodent. He looked at me for a second and told me that he'd just smooshed a rat about 30 seconds before I'd opened the garage door. I love being connected to him but really he could have kept his transmissions of smooshed rat to himself, ick.