Trying to explain why I say I'm a babygirl...

"A Babygirl is someone who relates to girly ways. You may like being treated like a princess, being dressed up, or it could be as simple as a feeling you get when alone with Daddy. It's all in how you feel and it has nothing to do with a specific age. A Babygirl can be 18 to 100, and they may or may not have an interest in things like coloring and stuffies. " 

I found the above definition in a fet group for babygirls (Babygirl Beginners) and of the definitions I've seen that is the one that resonates most with me. I've tried before to explain why I refer to myself as a babygirl but I'm never sure if it comes across clearly.  Below is something I said in a recent conversation about being a slave and a babygirl. 

" I identify as both a babygirl and a slave not because I am a little, I'm not, but because my general personality is rather childlike and with Das that is amplified. I started calling Das daddy early into our first year together. He would never describe himself as a "Daddy Dom" but between us it works. There has never been a conflict in my slavery and my babygirl-ness because even as a child I had drilled into me that there was a distinct difference between being childish and childlike and only one was acceptable. I'm not prone to brattiness, I am however given to going through the world with a certain innocence and wonder that belies my age and experiences. 

Specifically with Das some of the traits I identify as more babygirl-ish (I am making up words left and right) are my adoration of him, the uninhibited glee I have when I see him, the feeling of security when he holds me. I marvel at his intellect, am in awe of his physical strength and always feel protected when I'm with him no matter where we are. Those are feelings reminiscent of what I felt as a child. "

What I did not elaborate on is the how the structure of our M/s mimics that of my childhood relationship with my father. I was raised in a family in which unquestioning obedience was not only expected but demanded. There was discipline, often physical in nature, and my father was pampered and adored by everyone in the family but especially by my mother and I as the females in the family. My dad was at the very least seen as a demigod whose word was law and who ruled his household using whatever tactics he deemed effective to achieve his desired outcomes. I'm not arguing the appropriateness of any of it, simply explaining the context for my comparison of my personal childhood and the way I've agreed to live my adult relationship. 

Like many girls it can be said of me that in some ways I have been attracted to men who remind me of my father on at least some level. Instead of rejecting this as a possibility I chose to embrace it and weave it into the fabric of my relationship. For me it feels very natural and I feel safest with a man who fills the role of what I think of as a daddy. I think that role differs from what many traditionally think of because I didn't have a cuddly bear for a father but a marine. When I read The Great Santini as an adult I nodded a lot at the depiction of the father, it wasn't an exact portrayal of mine but there was plenty in common. 

Das is obviously not my father but he evokes in me the best feelings from that period of my life. There is none of the conflict and rebellion that often accompanies growing older and apart from parents and all of the ease and joy of being well cared for. In our case the rigid structure itself is what expresses care for me. I don't have to be in charge. I can skip along happily only responsible for my own obedience.  This is a dynamic in which me being the me that I am and not the socially proper adult version of me is a perfect fit.