Sickly ponderings

I have often heard slaves say that submitting in the bedroom was easy for them but the real life stuff posed greater difficulty.  I always want to engage further on these remarks because I'm not sure I quite get them. what is the real world and what in the bedroom does one submit to? I don't like being on top in a literal sense, during sex because I start thinking about how my boobs look, and losing my rhythm, and my thighs hurt, and I make silly faces...  Him on top is greatly preferred from my point of view but I'm not so sure that is a submissive thing as much as it is a function of me being easily distractible and self conscience. When he's leading I don't have time for all that, I'm too busy keeping up and focusing on his direction to be sidetracked by my own neurosis.

Real life is everything to me, no part of my life is not real. Maybe I'm thinking about it the wrong way but I personally have found many things infinitely easier than sexual submission. Being asked to move out of my sexy comfort zone has been more difficult than losing a sense of autonomy.  Maybe I was just so used to not being accountable only to myself for a goodly portion of my life. Falling under his rule felt very natural and in many things seamless. A few things caused quite the uproar on my part but nothing runs completely smooth so that didn't worry me too much. Sometimes I wonder if we are all talking at cross purposes but using the same words. I wish there was a way to dig deeper without being an ass.