Soul Mates Can't Be Hot?
I just read a little post on soulmates and it was cute and I actually agreed with parts of it like the notion that relationships shouldn't be hard and the idea that you have to suffer for love is nuts. What irked me though is this "so skip the supermodel. The pursuit of your own personal Jessica Alba or David Beckham." Now while I don't think going after someone you think looks like a supermodel as the top quality is the best basis for a relationship I don't see why it has to be thrown out altogether. The way it's thrown in the essay it sounds like the author is saying that anyone's real potential soulmate is going to be plain to ugly by default. I call shenanigans. Hot people don't make bad mates on the basis of being hot. To say otherwise is insulting and discriminatory not to mention shows not only shallowness but an unattractive insecurity on the author's part.
Your soul mate doesn't have to be a supermodel but why can't they be? If you are overlooking that greek god lookalike because there is no way he's good soul mate material then you just might be missing out on the best guy for you out there due to a preconceived idea based solely on looks. How much sense does that make? There was a time in my life when if a good looking guy showed interest in me I immediately assumed I was being set up for something unpleasant. I was suspicious and convinced of my own unattractiveness. Looking back I know I missed out on at least one potentially good relationship and hurt several good guys feelings. I dismissed them as complex humans with a full range of feelings based on them being what I deemed too attractive. When I matured and realized that I had plenty going on for myself and stopped questioning why such men would be interested in me I made friends, dated, and even married men that I and others considered quite attractive.
I think the better advise would be not to discount anyone. The quiet dude in accounting who always has a ready smile and an encouraging word for you even on your roughest day, the friend you've had for years, and the knock out you chat with regularly at the coffee shop. They all have the potential to be someone you can be happy with if you recognize what being happy really is and don't go in with false assumptions that melodramatic gestures equate to true love. Packaging may surprise you but don't let it deter you.
Your soul mate doesn't have to be a supermodel but why can't they be? If you are overlooking that greek god lookalike because there is no way he's good soul mate material then you just might be missing out on the best guy for you out there due to a preconceived idea based solely on looks. How much sense does that make? There was a time in my life when if a good looking guy showed interest in me I immediately assumed I was being set up for something unpleasant. I was suspicious and convinced of my own unattractiveness. Looking back I know I missed out on at least one potentially good relationship and hurt several good guys feelings. I dismissed them as complex humans with a full range of feelings based on them being what I deemed too attractive. When I matured and realized that I had plenty going on for myself and stopped questioning why such men would be interested in me I made friends, dated, and even married men that I and others considered quite attractive.
I think the better advise would be not to discount anyone. The quiet dude in accounting who always has a ready smile and an encouraging word for you even on your roughest day, the friend you've had for years, and the knock out you chat with regularly at the coffee shop. They all have the potential to be someone you can be happy with if you recognize what being happy really is and don't go in with false assumptions that melodramatic gestures equate to true love. Packaging may surprise you but don't let it deter you.
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