love

Love is a funny thing often debated and never quite defined in an agreed upon way. I heard the definition made popular by Heinlen ("love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own") and for a while thought it was the height of beauty and then something shifted in me. It no longer worked, it was too simplistic. I think in part because it only acknowledges love of someone else as at least the willingness to sacrifice of oneself which sounds nice but realistically isn't always the best thing or even a feasible thing to do.

There are people that I can unequivocally say that I love who I have limited to no contact with. I love them but I also love me and in those cases loving me comes first.  Self love gets a bad rap. To acknowledge anything good about yourself is to be labeled vain, conceited, full of oneself, stuck up, or selfish. Setting boundaries gets you called out as callous and uncaring as if caring for yourself is a treasonous act. I don't understand though how one who has not learned to feel and express love to themselves can be expected to express it outward.