There is no going back
Reading a thread on fet about moving on as a slave after the end of an M/s relationship I noticed someone gave the advice of reclaiming your old habits and enjoyments. I've seen that advice before and in fact I've witnessed people doing it. It's not something I think has merit in and of itself.
I don't understand the idea of going backward as a good plan. You aren't the same person you were so why would trying to recapture the past be the best way to move beyond the pain and confusion of no longer being owned? It would seem to me that exploring who you are at the present time as a combination of who you were along with whatever changes you've made and with whatever new self discoveries may emerge in the process would result in the best outcome. Denying parts of yourself never brings inner peace and what is running backward but a form of denial?
If you stopped wearing pajamas I wouldn't advise going out and buying some because you used to like them before said relationship. I wouldn't advise avoiding them because it wasn't something you wore in that relationship either. My advice would be to think about whether or not you want to wear them now for yourself and be open to yes, no, maybe and even sometimes. Nothing is the wrong answer in determining what you want. It doesn't have to be the direct opposite of whatever your previous master liked nor do you have to maintain all their likes by default. There are no shortcuts to introspection and everyone heals, grows, and develops at their own pace. That pace isn't even constant in that person across time or events and I believe we need to be better about realizing and accepting that.
I don't understand the idea of going backward as a good plan. You aren't the same person you were so why would trying to recapture the past be the best way to move beyond the pain and confusion of no longer being owned? It would seem to me that exploring who you are at the present time as a combination of who you were along with whatever changes you've made and with whatever new self discoveries may emerge in the process would result in the best outcome. Denying parts of yourself never brings inner peace and what is running backward but a form of denial?
If you stopped wearing pajamas I wouldn't advise going out and buying some because you used to like them before said relationship. I wouldn't advise avoiding them because it wasn't something you wore in that relationship either. My advice would be to think about whether or not you want to wear them now for yourself and be open to yes, no, maybe and even sometimes. Nothing is the wrong answer in determining what you want. It doesn't have to be the direct opposite of whatever your previous master liked nor do you have to maintain all their likes by default. There are no shortcuts to introspection and everyone heals, grows, and develops at their own pace. That pace isn't even constant in that person across time or events and I believe we need to be better about realizing and accepting that.
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