You've got to be kidding

You’ve got to be kidding, no one can get this done in the next 15 minutes especially when you jerks want me to do 10 other things at the same time.

Muttering was what Deli did best at work, well she was actually aces at her job but that is why she is the one who gets stuff piled on, her bosses know she'll get it done or die trying. It’s the die trying part that she isn't so keen on.

Pulling up nearly indecipherable charts and graphs and resolutely sitting down with a large coffee plus two cans of caffeine laden energy drinks she settled in for a long day hoping that wearing obvious headphones would keep people from socializing. How is it that no one else in this department never had anything better to do than loiter at her desk?

Hours into making sense of the nonsense she’d been given it was time for a break according to her numb butt and aching back. Also she was starting to see double which is never a good sign so she made her way downstairs to the amazingly well turned out cafeteria. With high ceilings, skylights and plush seating it was a crying shame that she couldn’t spend more time down here instead of the broom closet that passed for her office. At least she wasn't stuck in a cube farm, something to be grateful for.

Hmmm wonder who the new hottie is… Now there is a man I wouldn't mind hovering over my desk.

With a secret grin she made her way through the line and found an unoccupied booth. Deli wasn’t a girl who was shy about eating, she liked all kinds of food and made no apologies for it. As she was about to start in on her dessert which perversely was always the first thing she ate, something blocked the lovely patch of sun which was the reason she'd picked this booth in the first place. Looking up with a scowl she saw the hottie looking apologetic.

I don’t know anyone here and I hate eating alone, may I sit with you? Promise I won’t make inane conversation.

I guess so but there are a bunch of other tables of people you could have dropping in on you know.

Well I guess you looked the friendliest.

Before he’d fully gotten that sentence to completion she was snickering. Deli knew she had a lot going for her but no one had ever before accused her of looking friendly. She had a permanent case of resting bitch face and although she liked people well enough she was more than content with her own company and most who didn’t know her gave her a wide berth. She’d heard time and again that she intimidated people although she was at a loss as to why. In her eyes she was pretty average, average height, average weight, average looks. Maybe people liked to think that underneath the stern librarian look was a sex goddess waiting to free but if so it wasn’t something she ever gave a hint to at work.

What she didn’t see was how her olive eyes danced with mischief even when she said the most mundane things and the way she enjoyed her food made many a red blooded man and woman wish they were food items. Theorizing that anyone with that kind of enjoyment in eating had to have a sensual appetite to match. From an outsiders perspective her severe manner of dress couldn’t hide a round butt, wide-ish hips, and her athletic build. Her hair was nearly the black generally only seen on those of Asian descent but even the tidy French braid couldn’t hide the fact that it was curly. The few curls, which refused to be restrained, softened the severity of her hairstyle. Her nose defied attempts to categorize it and her skin tone was that of an east islander. Bluntly speaking many people found her looks puzzling as well as erotic. So many people wanted to play the “what are you” game that she’d long since gotten to the point of saying a girl and walking away when conversations took that turn.

Suit yourself but be prepared to pay the toll.

Toll?

Well now you are at my mercy so I get to ask all kinds of impertinent and embarrassing questions.

She noted he had a pleasant open manner of laughing when he agreed that the toll was fair enough.

I’ll start off easy, how old are you?

Thirty –seven

What is your favorite color?

Purple

Favorite cartoon?

Scooby-Doo

Marital status?

Trying to get a date with the funniest woman I’ve come in contact with for a while.

Well aren't you the sly one?

Who me? I’m an open book just ask my five ex wives and twelve kids.

With that the ice was well and truly broken and they both fell into a spasm of giggles. As lunch progressed they found they had a couple of friends in common but had never crossed paths because they were both introverts who simply didn’t make it out much. They also shared a love of books. Although she had to grant him forgiveness for saying his favorite books were by Beckett as she was a staunch Joyce fan herself.

He was carrying on the conversation with part of his brain but in another hidden part he was thanking his lucky stars that for once the woman he’d been watching for over a month had shown up in the cafeteria without anyone in tow. If he was going to crash and burn he’d rather not have an audience, thank you very much. It was a good thing that he had already ascertained they worked in different departments since intradepartmental dating was highly frowned upon.

Bringing himself fully back into the moment at hand he observed her observing him. Just shy of six feet he wasn’t a tall man but he gave the impression of height due to long legs and a body honed from growing up on the family farm doing manual labor and an enjoyment of hiking and mountain climbing. Due to that he wore his clothes well. He had a boyish face, which is why when he disclosed his age there was a slight eye blink, the only clue that he’d thrown her.

Despite his teasing he’d never been married and only had two children, twins conceived in his late teens when there was nothing better to do in a small farming town than get drunk and have sex. They were young adults now on their way to university and he’d stayed on good terms with their mother who hadn’t wanted to wed at that age any more than he had.  He’d dated a bit but most of his time was devoted to being a dad and getting through school. He refused to be a living stereotype of a black man with baby mammas all over the place who hadn’t done anything with his life worth bragging about. He wasn’t vain about his accomplishments though, his parents had kept his feet firmly planted on the ground letting him know that everyone needs both help and luck to get where they want to be and no one should act as if any accomplishments they are blessed to achieve are all their own doing. He’d done his best to instill the same values in his kids.

Lunch hour seemed to be in a time loop because it was never later than 5 minutes when Deli could have sworn at least 30 had passed. She appreciated that hottie whose real name was Les (he swore his parents wanted a girl so they’d named him Leslie but after a few fights in grade school it had been shortened to Les) had more going for him than looks. He was smart in both a down home way often seen in southern men as well as academically and humorous and sweet to boot. It was a point in his favor that he took his parenting responsibilities seriously from the beginning and while he obviously loved his parents he didn’t throw off the vibe of being a mamma’s boy. Never can be too careful though there have been many a boy in man’s clothing in her past.

I just have to know, where did you get the name Deli?

My parents being the hippy sentimental types named me for my place of conception, New Delhi. It was obviously quite the vacation for them.

That’s cute, of all the things I tried guessing that wasn’t even on my radar.

It never is.

A coworker of Deli’s walked by at a snail’s pace in order to get a good look at Les so that she can be the first to spread the office gossip about his presence in Deli’s booth. They are nice enough but way too apt to be all up in her business in her opinion.   It’s going to be fun not giving them a crumb to chew on.

Why do you sit away from everyone?

I don’t care for people or gossip and sometimes I need to breathe after all the forced socialization of my job.

So what is it that forces you to socialize?

I’m in marketing and glad handing with clients is just a part of the game.

Is that your dream job?

Nosey aren’t you?

Let’s call it a healthy curiosity about the woman I hope to take home to meet my parents very soon. I’ll put it on the table I’m not a young boy looking to play the field I’m looking for wifey at this point.

While I like the direct approach I’m not sure that I am ready for all that. Why don’t we go somewhere we can get to know each other better before we start talking about meeting parents.

As far is it goes it is true but it’s also a delaying tactic. So many men have ghosted once they met Deli’s parents who, to be honest aren’t quite run of the mill. Her dad is a huge bear of a man, a championship bodybuilder back in the day and still in amazing shape although he is in his late 50s. He is also adept in several forms of martial arts and a published poet. From him she’d inherited her mesomorph body type, an even temper, love of writing, and her wild hair. Her mom is also a power to be reckoned with. She is six feet of intellectual dynamite wrapped in the guise of a sex kitten. Growing up Deli had sworn that Jessica Rabbit was modeled on her mom. From mom Deli had inherited an insanely high IQ coupled with a gift for numbers. Not bad things to be sure but many days looking in the mirror she’d wished that she had gotten more of her mom’s looks although she is fond of the oddness of her eyes. The light tan color of her skin was actually a throwback to her great grandmother as was her height since both of her parents are a deep chocolate color. It seemed finding out that she was black put a lot of men off bursting their fantasy of dating someone exotic or in some cases someone of a more acceptable racial makeup.

With all this in mind she happily but carefully exchanged numbers just in time to scuttle back to the office to perform miracles.

The next weekend found her donning hiking boots, an unseemly amount of sunscreen and a hat in an effort to not end the day lobster colored. Meeting up at the busiest hiking spot was his idea, point for him for taking her sense of comfort into account. So many guys simply don’t think of those things.

As the climb went on Deli silently thanked her father for the gift of well-muscled legs although she knew she’d be sore the next day. Les was pretty impressed with her stamina and the ease in which she got the hang of hiking given her novice status. The view of her in hiking shorts and a tank top was no hardship either. His outfit was showing off those shoulders and legs to best advantage and the time he used his shirt hem to wipe the sweat off his face she caught a glimpse of some well defined abs.

The best thing about the outing wasn’t the building sexual tension though, it was the easy comrade they had without even trying.

Although usually hiking and talking don’t seem to go together with them both being in good shape they managed it and somehow not having to look at each other as they talked made it easier to open up. Deli discovered that Les was the head of accounting and angling for a position as CFO in the not too distant future. He’s majored in mathematics and minored in African American Studies.  When asked why that combination he said he liked playing with numbers but didn’t have the temperament to teach so accounting seemed like a reasonable pursuit and he thought it was important for people to understand their history.

As he talked about all the cultural events he’d attended as a kid Deli was both impressed and confused. How did a farm boy get exposed to so much? Wasn’t farm work an all day kind of thing?

Laughingly he explained to her that most of the hard work was done in the spring and summer so he had all fall and winter to explore museums take online and correspondence classes and he’d read everything he could get his hands on since he was a kid. His parents had worked hard to make sure his world was wider than the cornfields even though they loved farming. They wanted him to have options and since a white couple adopted him at birth they went the extra mile to make sure he was exposed to black literature, art, cultural events. A funny story about being the only farmhouse in town to be decked out for Juneteenth came out making Deli nearly fall over with the rich way he told the story. He laughingly told her that he was sure glad that he hadn’t been a girl since his mom was hopeless with her own hair and surely would have been completely lost if she’d had to do more than keep it cut and brushed.

Somewhere between the summit point and the picnic area Deli began to think that maybe this time she’d found a guy who wouldn’t blink twice upon meeting her parents. She started to truly let herself look forward to seeing what this could blossom into.