Modesty does not equal greater self respect
I saw a writing on fet this morning about being modest in the scene being ok and that is a sentiment by itself that I agree with. What I am leery of was the implication I saw ribbon through the writing and in some of the comments that being modest equates to having self respect.
This is a personally bone of contention for me partly because I am not modest in a sexually expressive way, in the way I dress in or out of the scene. I have no problems with displaying my body in clothing that is in some way revealing and in avenues where it is appropriate being naked. I also have a good deal of self respect. Those are not mutually exclusive and I really wish people would stop acting as if they were.
The idea that covering up is indicative of a higher moral character and greater sense of self worth is not a new one but it is one that serves no purpose but to control people either directly or indirectly. It uses shame and fear of judgement to keep those who might well want to be less covered in line and for what reason? As far as I can see the only reason is for the comfort of those who aren't in agreement or comfortable with being uncovered for whatever reason. It amuses me that within the bdsm scene a scene known for it's hedonistic nature that this is a thing. I suppose the desire for control and grasps for power over the masses knows no boundaries so why not the bdsm scene.
People make judgements all the time, that's not my issue here. My issue is the taking of the judgement, making it public and declaring a general truth for everyone. At that point things have gone too far. Maybe for those who spoke up their use of modesty bespeaks a higher sense of self respect due to their personal journeys, wiring , beliefs or whatever. Bully for them. That doesn't make it true for everyone and it doesn't make it ok for them to declare that "THE WAY IT MUST BE" I don't advocate nakedness nor do I advocate being buttoned up from toes to throat or anything that falls in between. I advocate doing what feels right to you at the time within the confines of legalities and appropriateness for the time and venue. Do you, be modest, let it all hang out, alternate, whatever. Have self respect and know that whatever your clothing choices don't determine how much or little of it you have and anyone who tells otherwise might just deserve a good side eyeing.
This is a personally bone of contention for me partly because I am not modest in a sexually expressive way, in the way I dress in or out of the scene. I have no problems with displaying my body in clothing that is in some way revealing and in avenues where it is appropriate being naked. I also have a good deal of self respect. Those are not mutually exclusive and I really wish people would stop acting as if they were.
The idea that covering up is indicative of a higher moral character and greater sense of self worth is not a new one but it is one that serves no purpose but to control people either directly or indirectly. It uses shame and fear of judgement to keep those who might well want to be less covered in line and for what reason? As far as I can see the only reason is for the comfort of those who aren't in agreement or comfortable with being uncovered for whatever reason. It amuses me that within the bdsm scene a scene known for it's hedonistic nature that this is a thing. I suppose the desire for control and grasps for power over the masses knows no boundaries so why not the bdsm scene.
People make judgements all the time, that's not my issue here. My issue is the taking of the judgement, making it public and declaring a general truth for everyone. At that point things have gone too far. Maybe for those who spoke up their use of modesty bespeaks a higher sense of self respect due to their personal journeys, wiring , beliefs or whatever. Bully for them. That doesn't make it true for everyone and it doesn't make it ok for them to declare that "THE WAY IT MUST BE" I don't advocate nakedness nor do I advocate being buttoned up from toes to throat or anything that falls in between. I advocate doing what feels right to you at the time within the confines of legalities and appropriateness for the time and venue. Do you, be modest, let it all hang out, alternate, whatever. Have self respect and know that whatever your clothing choices don't determine how much or little of it you have and anyone who tells otherwise might just deserve a good side eyeing.
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