Asking

We were sitting around chatting and playing on the internet in turns when the subject of asking for things came up. I mentioned how amazed I was that it had just hit me that I now ask for things and don't feel like the value is diminished by having to ask in the first place. he said that it is probably because I know that he has no problems saying no to me and so there isn't a feeling that I've coerced him into doing or giving me something that he didn't want to. I know whatever it is he's doing it because he wants to do it which leaves me free to enjoy it.  I have to agree with that.

There is another reason I'm comfortable asking now. I am no longer concerned that I'll be dismissed out of hand. Most of my life I've feared that my desires and worries would be brushed off if I voiced them and I'd rather leave them unsaid than deal with that potential heartache. With Das I feel safe. I know there is a chance that he will say or do something hurtful, him being perfectly human and all but I also know he wouldn't do it on purpose. Intent matters a great deal and his is never to make me feel inconsequential. With that knowledge I've been able to open up and ask for what I want. I don't always get it but that's not the point, asking is.