What's in a word?

I was telling Das that as much as I loved the idea of marrying him and getting married was fun I don't think of him as my husband. I can say with ease that we are married but everytime it comes up I either call him my boyfriend or pause a minute and say husband but the word doesn't flow off my tongue, it feel alien and untrue somehow.  Most of the time I manage to sidestep calling him anything but Das anyway. Although yesterday I realized after the fact that I called him daddy both at a coffee shop and at the mall, oh well I've just about given up that fight. Never seems to so much as raise an eyebrow anyway.

We talked about why husband feels so wrong to me and we both think it has to do with the societal ideas that husband evokes. Boyfriend doesn't seem so laden with expectations especially not at our ages, it basically stands for "male person I'm intimate with" at this point but how that looks is undefined. I do find it amusing within myself that something that meant so much to me once I got it doesn't have the earth shattering significance in an obvious way. He never calls me his wife either. I'm either his babygirl bride or his girl. That feels right to me. Funny how words can be that way.