I'm sleepy, this post probably makes no sense

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And just like that I feel better. No real reason I just do. The car still won't work although we did make it home, I still had to cancel my weekend plans and yet I no longer feel life is out to get me. Not even sure when it changed, smh. Moods are strange indeed.

Sometimes I feel so very much his. I've heard people talk about maintenance beatings, I don't get those. When he beats me it's just because he's in the mood. That extra owned feeling often comes up during sex. That orgasms have gone beyond fun to torturous kinda sex that makes it evident that my body doesn't even listen to my wishes anymore. It performs at his command. Traitorous bitch.  i've heard rumors that women get more sexual as they move into their 40s. If this is true I'm not sure I want to imagine the many ways he's plotting to use that against me.  I'm exhausted, I need to lay down, on the couch, fully dressed...where it's safe. :)

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