Doctors & Pain

Friday morning I had a pelvic ultrasound, 2 in fact, go me being an overachiever. I had the not so gentle kind with the full to bursting bladder with the wicked stepmother of a tech smooshing the evil wand as hard as possible on said bladder and other abdominal/pelvic parts in search of internal lady bits and then I had the dubious pleasure of voiding (finally!) and having the transvaginal ultrasound. Having a plastic wand inside me poking around indelicately guided by an oddly near silent stranger is not my idea of a good time. She wouldn't even let me see my uterus on the screen which to me would have at least have made such indignity somewhat worth it in the moment. 

How on earth did I find myself in such a position? Well during my dr appt on Monday my new gp asked if I had anything else after we talked about my asthma and I mentioned my painful periods. She jumped on it and arranged for me to have aforementioned ultrasounds to see if I have any cysts and mentioned endometriosis. Ok I've heard of endometriosis in a passing way but wasn't sure what it was exactly. So off to google I went. Wow! How is it with the symptoms I've presented and wailed about to every freaking doctor I've had since I was 12 that no one has ever even mentioned this as a possibility to me before? Not saying I have it, I am saying that I now have a very clear understanding that the level of pain I have let alone the other symptoms I get during my period is not normal and not considered normal so why I was completely put off with a "take ibuprofen or midol" is a mystery to me. I have fainted countless times, several in public so I was taken to the hospital by ambulance and nothing was done. I have bled ridiculous amounts for years and giving birth did not help btw. What did help to a degree was taking birth control pills, which is no longer an option to me as I've had a blood clot.  

It amazes and dismays me that it has taken me until turning 40 to find a doctor that takes my report of pain seriously enough to look into why it could be happening. Especially for a pain I have been experiencing for 28 years and have been complaining about quite loudly the entire time. I've seen a lot of types doctors in that time, internal medicine docs, gynecologists, family practitioners, a handful of various specialist and I have told them all the same story yet not one went beyond giving me birth control pills to regulate my cycle. I've been told both explicitly and implicitly that pain is just a part of the deal and my pain can't be nearly as bad as I was reporting it to be which is frustrating as hell. 

The other day I came across some old medical records and one report from my first nephologist actually said that he was sure I hadn't experienced a ruptured cyst because I looked too comfortable. I nearly spit out my drink upon reading that since I remember that time all too well. When the incident happened was a Friday night and I was in so much pain I fainted on the bathroom floor of the dance club I was at. My friend had driven and with help was able to get me in the car and drove me home where she unceremoniously dropped me off. My husband was out that night with his friends and the kids were with his parents, I couldn't make it to the phone so I laid on the livingroom floor all night in too much pain to move. He found me there when he came home the next morning. By saturday night I was still in excruciating pain so he took me to the ER. They asked me for a urine sample and what I gave them looked like a cup of blood. They assumed I had my period but I didn't there was that much bleeding from my kidney cyst. The er docs realized I had had a cyst burst gave me antibiotics and pain meds and sent me home. I couldn't get an appt with my nephrologist until tues/wed and by that time the pain had abated a great deal. So yeah by the time he saw me I was doing a lot better. Mind you I told him all about what had happened over the weekend and apparently none of that mattered, in fact it didn't even make it into the report. He has it down as a simple infection. Seeing the complete dismissal of my pain in black and white is disheartening. It makes me wonder just what has to happen to be listened to the first time. 

So we shall see what journey this new doctor takes me on, if any. My faith in the medical community is pretty low generally but hey maybe this time it will be different.